#1 Fear: Public Speaking #2 Fear: Death

Public Speaking: an Author’s Necessary Evil.

“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two? Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” ~Jerry Seinfeld

No one reading this can be any more terrified of public speaking than I used to be.

When my first children’s book was published in 2000, I was married and living in New Hampshire.

The press releases went to newspapers all over the country and it was also in our own local papers. As a result, my first paid public appearance would be speaking to a Parent Teacher Association group in an auditorium the evening before my first paid Author School Visit at a large elementary school in Manchester NH.

I was excited to have been invited. I was even more excited that I would be paid that night and paid the following day for my Author School Visit, my very first one. I would officially be what I set out to be … an Author making money.

But, neither of those mattered and all my plans flew out the window, when I peeked through the curtain from backstage and saw the packed auditorium. I had a total meltdown. I was more terrified than I had ever been in my life. I ran to the ladies room and threw up.

Then someone said something that turned everything around. This is what I want to share with you. I think it might help put things in a different perspective for you.

Just after my second trip to the ladies room for the same reason, my husband came backstage and asked me how I was doing. I told him there was no way I was ever going to be able to speak to that huge group of people.

“I’ll excuse myself, give the people in charge my most heartfelt apologies, and then I’ll go home. What was I thinking?”

For one thing, there was so much combined education in that auditorium that Einstein would feel outclassed. Who the hell was I and what possessed me to think I had anything worthwhile to say to a group of educators, let alone the parents, whose children I would be speaking to all day the next day?

My husband gripped my shoulders firmly, roughly spun me around to face him, and lifted my face up by pinching my chin.  Then looking me squarely in the eye, he said, “YOU CAN do this!  Anyone can speak to a group of people, no matter how large the group is, IF they are the expert on the subject they're going to talk about!

You wrote the damned book! YOU are the expert on your book! And I'll tell you something else. You're worried about all of the combined education 'out there'. Well, let’s get something straight. You've done something only a few of them probably have. You wrote a book. You found a publisher. You are a Children's Author.

You're looking at it ass-backwards. You envy their college degrees. Well, lady, they envy your writing, your determination, and what you've accomplished.

Now, BUCK THE FUCK UP! Get out there. Put a smile on your face.  Be the expert you are and talk about your damned book!"

It was amazing, seeing it from that perspective. I honestly did an about-face from that minute on. I WAS the expert on my book.

I took a deep breath and walked onto the stage as I was introduced. I could feel the adrenaline, but I put a smile on my face, looked into the sea of faces, and suddenly, I could see they were smiling back. I had so much fun the night I spoke to that PTA group.

I’ve grown to love public speaking and, somewhere along the way, I've found I'm even somewhat of a ham, especially with children during my Author School Visit presentations and poetry workshops.

There's only one downside to it. The adrenaline high is addicting and it isn't long before you start to crave another speaking engagement.

If this article has helped you, then I’m glad. I’m sure you’ll do fine. Just know and understand what you’re going to be speaking about —be the expert that you already are.

Oh, and smile. It's a tremendous ice-breaker ...

Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018.
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