Wanted, or Not, a Final Freedom
Sidney left the courthouse and to keep from crying, she counted each stone step down to the idling taxi. “Twelve,” she said aloud, as tears found the crack in her armor.
The driver looked puzzled. “Excuse me, Ma’am?”
“Never mind …”
Sydney gave the driver her address and shut the door, wiping her eyes with a tissue. She had always heard divorce brought a mixed bag of feelings. She never figured hers would be sadness. God knows their marriage had been dying for years.
When the judge’s gavel pronounced her freedom, Sydney thought elation would take her by the hand.
Strange, you meet someone, fall in love, believe it will last forever and one day, your world implodes. At some vague point, you both changed and like an onion, layer by layer, the good gets peeled away. You’re shadows of who you were, and avoiding each other for who you’ve become -- strangers sharing a house.
You don't know how you know it's over, you just do. For Sidney, it came slowly, with the sad certainty of a child learning the Tooth Fairy was really dad.
Their breakfast table had become a silent stage for reading the news and eating breakfast. The ticking clock on the wall and the crackling of his sports pages were the only sounds left between them.
Wiping a tear with the back of her hand, Sydney still remembered the scent at the base of his neck when they used to hug. How she used to love it. With a sigh, she realized all affection between them had slipped away years ago.
She knew she would miss the nights, the way they fit so well together. That brought new tears, because she knew he was ‘fitting perfectly’ with someone else and had been for months. He knew that was something she could never forgive. But it was all over an hour ago in court and she was surprised the realization hurt.
Love died a silent death and the good that used to be slid into her yesterdays. Sydney would have gladly traded her tomorrows to get it back, but it was gone. It takes two to make a good marriage and she was tired of doing all the work.
Well, at least she understood now why she felt sad and with a deep cleansing breath, she paid the driver and set off to build a new life …