A Surprise 40th Birthday Gift

For my Younger Brother, Chip

The best (or at least most interesting) birthday surprise I ever gave anyone was something I gave my younger brother, Chip when he turned 40.

Chip’s wife, Sue, was putting together a surprise 40th birthday party for him. We lived too far away to attend the party. They were in Ohio and we lived in New Hampshire —a twelve-hour drive under the very best of conditions. 

This surprise birthday gift I sent to Chip has an interesting story behind it …

When my three daughters were small, we were at Chip and Sue’s visiting. The girls and I were sitting on the floor playing Chutes and Ladders, a popular children’s board game.

All of a sudden, one of the girls passed gas. Understand, on a wooden floor, the sound was heightened and it reverberated loudly.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!” She covered her face with her hands in embarrassment.

Chip had been sitting on the sofa, talking with my dad, “Grampa”. Chip suddenly jumped up and called to Sue in the kitchen.

“Sue! Grab the can of Bug Killer!  Hurry!  There’s a Barking Spider in here somewhere! Hurry”

Nothing could have prepared any of us for that. A Barking Spider? My dad, the girls and I all started laughing and we couldn’t stop. It sure diffused any lingering embarrassment my daughter may have had.

Okay, now back to the birthday surprise …

When Sue called to invite us to the surprise 40th birthday party for Chip, I knew I couldn’t go. I knew my girls were all busy with their own families and they also wouldn’t be able to make the trip.

So I decided to write a poem about the day when the … Barking Spider … first showed up at Chip and Sue’s. I thought it would be the perfect surprise gift for Chip.

I called Sue back. She loved the idea, so after it was written, I emailed it to her and asked her to gift it to Chip from me —but he was to read it to everyone at his surprise party, since he was the inspiration for the poem.

Barking Spiders

The barking spiders all march in
just past dinnertime.
Some big, some small, they come to call
floating on the wind behind.

Each is clearly noticed,
although they can't be seen.
You're positive they're there though
'cause your nose is very keen.

You know you can't outrun 'em
and a net won't get 'em caught.
Your friends laugh 'cause they're funny,
but your mom yells 'cause they're not.

So, open all the windows!
Crack the vents real fast!
'Cause these aren't normal spiders ...
Barking Spiders are —just gas.

-*-

I was thrilled to hear the poem was a big hit at the party, especially with the Barking Spider hunter, my little brother, Chip.

-*-

[from the book, “Barking Spiders (and Other Such Stuff)” by C.J. Heck]

Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018.
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