Cherry Pie Pit Picker-Outers

On vacation, not paying attention, or maybe a smoke break?

This morning, I’m going to tell you about a little incident I had with a Mrs. Smith’s cherry pie.  

One evening after dinner, we were having cherry pie for dessert and I chomped down on a bite of pie that contained a hard pink cherry pit. I was glad I didn’t break a filling, or a tooth, and that I didn’t have braces, all of which could have meant a costly trip to the dentist.

After dessert, I dug the box out of the trash and found the address for Mrs. Smith’s corporate offices. I decided I was going to mail the guilty cherry pie pit back to them along with a clever letter.  Here is the letter:

(Sara Lee Mgmt., please pardon my wordplay, but I’m a writer and I couldn’t resist …)

“Dear Sirs,

First, I want to say my family and I love your pies.  Cherry and apple are our favorites, and your pumpkin pie will always be welcome on our Thanksgiving table.

The purpose of this letter is to let you know during dinner last night, I found a pink cherry pie pit in one of my bites.  No harm was done, but it could have been a big problem if I had braces, or if it broke a filling or cracked the enamel on a tooth.

I have enclosed the aforementioned pink cherry pie pit. Your cherry pie Pit Picker-Outer possibly posed a pernicious pit picking problem at the packing plant.

The poorly proper Pit Picker-Outer poking piece probably partially popped off primarily during a possible pit picking production procedure which probably promptly plopped the particular problematic pink cherry pie pit into my tasty bite of pie.

I wanted to make you aware so you could contact your quality control cronies about capably correcting its costly capacity to count poorly pitted pink cherry pie pits that were incorrectly passed on to consumers.

Most sincerely yours,
C.J. Heck”

I signed the letter, put a stamp on the envelope, and giggled all the way to the mailbox on the corner. Two weeks later I received a very nice apology letter and a large handful of coupons for free Mrs. Smith pies.

Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018.
CJ’s World is reader supported.
If you enjoy reading my work, please,
be a paid subscriber so I can continue 
writing.  Thank you!