Don't Kids say the Darndest Things?

Two cringe-worthy examples ...

Years ago, when I still lived in New Hampshire, I only lived about fifteen minutes away from my middle daughter, Bethany, her husband, Brian, and their four children.

I promised to babysit that evening, so while I was getting supper, I called Beth to find out what time they needed me to be there.

My 4-year-old grandson, Colin, answered the phone:

“Hel-lo.”

“Hi, Colin, is Mommy there?”

“Hi Gram! Yeah, she’s in the basement puttin’ clothes in the dryer.”

“Okay. How about Daddy?

“Yeah.”

“Could I please talk to him?”

“No.”

“Colin? Is Daddy home?”

“Yeah, but he’s in the bathroom poopin’.”

That always reminds me of an older memory, back when Colin’s mommy was twelve. Beth came home from school and informed me a couple of kids on the bus were whispering about how babies were made. She asked, but they wouldn’t tell her. They only giggled.

“Beth, if you want to know, I’ll be glad to talk with you about it.”

“Yeah, okay.”

She was very quiet as I explained things to her. When I was done, I waited, expecting questions, but she didn’t ask any. She just sat there thinking.

I knew there was a lot to digest. It was probably very confusing for her, so I asked if she had any questions.

She looked like she had been sucking on a lemon. Her answer:

“Ewww, Mom, I can’t believe you did that three times.”

Years later, she and Brian, had just had their fourth child. I couldn’t resist. I leaned down to her in her hospital bed, kissed her forehead, told her I love her, and whispered …

“Ewww, Bethie, I can’t believe you did that FOUR times.”

The look on her face told me she remembered and it was priceless. There are only a few times I can ever remember all of us laughing that hard and for so long ...

Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018.
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