When my three daughters were small, we often tent camped right near the ocean in Wells, Maine, with another couple and their two children, a boy and his 2 year-old sister. The campground was just across the road from where the lobster boats came in and docked after lobstermen emptied their traps.
The two husbands loved meeting the boats, haggling with the lobstermen, and bringing lobsters back to cook for dinner. Buying directly from the lobstermen was a lot less expensive than a supermarket and it tasted better, too, out in the open air with the ocean beside us.
The campground also had a small store stocked with canned goods, pharmacy items and a small fresh produce section. The shelves held a small assortment of toys, candies and gum and on the back wall, a few refrigerated items and a freezer with ice cream and popsicles.
The other couple’s son, I'll call him Jason, was in between the ages of my two older girls. They all got along, played hard, and as a result, fell asleep as soon as they crawled into their sleeping bags at night.
After lunch, since they couldn't go back in the water for a while, we gave them each a quarter and they walked to the store, the quarters burning holes in their pockets.
One afternoon, as we ladies were finishing the lunch cleanup and the men were having a beer and talking football, I heard our young shoppers coming back down the path from the camp store.
Then I heard Jason's father. “Jason, I see you have a Popsicle. Where did you get the money for the balsa airplane? I only gave you a quarter.”
“I found it.”
My youngest, our six-year old Truth Nazi, piped up. “You did NOT, Jason. You lie. I saw you take it and I told you that was stealing and stealing is wrong.”
Jason's dad went ballistic, scolding him for lying. But instead of using the incident as the perfect teaching tool, his dad took the plane back to the store. Alone. It should have resulted in his father telling Jason stealing was wrong and it was against the law. Then he should have insisted that Jason return the plane and apologize for taking it ….
I was dumbfounded. What did Jason learn from that? He didn't have to take any responsibility for his actions? I’m sorry, but that was wrong. What he learned from it was to tell dad the truth any time he did something wrong and dad would step in and clean up his mess for him.
That was 45 years ago now. I wish I knew how Jason turned out, but I have no idea.
I put my foot down that summer and flatly refused to camp with them again. Things had changed and I lost a lot of respect for Jason’s parents. Raising responsible children with an honest value system was already hard enough.
Parents should set a good example, not be a bad one …
Published Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018
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