Yes, there was a "gentleman's code" and in my case it had to do with being polite, showing respect, having good manners and some social grace, not showing off (humility) along with being friendly, kind and generous. Being brave and working hard were inserted in there on occasions too. I tried to honor most of that most of the time and on more than a few occasions fell short and said, not today.
Thanks, C.J. I make the effort and admit to having screwed up numerous times that embarrassed others and myself. That may be part of our human weakness that cause us to stumble along life's path. How do you see that?
I know Mama meant well with her guidelines, but … when your face is leaking, is it really that important for girls to call it ‘perspiration’ rather than sweat? Hahahaha Same with burps. Some catch you off guard with no time to hide it in a napkin.
Yes, Gary. We all screw up sometimes. Trust me, you are golden, my friend, golden.
I remember those little messages being given by parents and reminded to the girls by the nuns growing up. I never heard the part about holding it though. It was more like the first line about perspiring vs sweating. The quote in our neck of the woods was more like “Ladies don’t fart - they pass gas”.
Definitely all true though, at least at one time. Well done C.J. !
Thank you, Ken. It would have been far kinder to have heard, “they pass gas” … there were times, like after chili, I thought I would blow up because I was holding one. 😁😁
When that generation of women graduated from high school, I think they got two handouts … a diploma and a list of “How to be a Lady” guidelines for their eventual daughters …😁😁
Loved this & the poem! My momma told me not to smoke in public…..among all the things you mentioned….she thought public smoking made a woman look “cheap” ! That was about 65 yrs ago….and I still smoke, but not too publicly!🫣🫣
Your poem has emotional and intellectual balance. It's neither shrill nor maudlin.
When I was a kid the nuns were a multiplier for the book of etiquette. They sprinkled their lessons in good behavior with violence. I guess the belief that pain engendered avoidance, and avoidance became the foundation of a behavioral code.
Teresa of Avila wrote a rule for nuns, a training manual of sorts. Of particular interest are her recommendations for dealing with nuns afflicted with melancholy. As if those poor women were not already suffering enough, Santa Teresa advised that melancholic nuns be heaped with physical and psychological abuse. She recommended giving such nuns the dirtiest. Most physically taxing and most distasteful jobs the convent had to offer.
The craziest part about that list is that it is literally all of the body's self-cleaning mechanisms. Trying to get the old, toxic, hot, sludgy and stinky OUT. Ladies gotta purge or we are gonna be heavy, aging weighed down, sick gals. Better out than in. 90% of my work is retraining societies ideas to let the body let go. Here's to being ladies who Fart.
”Ladies, you shouldn’t swear, drink too much, etc.”
By that metric, the female characters I write about are NOT ladies (however much they may try)....
Those were guidelines our mother thought would help us fit into society, I’m sure.
If you read the poem, “I’m a Lady”, after the narrative, you saw what my idea of being a lady was. It was much different from my mom’s.
(laughing)
Thanks David
My characters care more about righting wrongs than fitting into "society".
Yes, there was a "gentleman's code" and in my case it had to do with being polite, showing respect, having good manners and some social grace, not showing off (humility) along with being friendly, kind and generous. Being brave and working hard were inserted in there on occasions too. I tried to honor most of that most of the time and on more than a few occasions fell short and said, not today.
Having had several interactions with you here, I believe you, Gary. You follow your gentleman’s code precisely. Thank you! 💞
Thanks, C.J. I make the effort and admit to having screwed up numerous times that embarrassed others and myself. That may be part of our human weakness that cause us to stumble along life's path. How do you see that?
I know Mama meant well with her guidelines, but … when your face is leaking, is it really that important for girls to call it ‘perspiration’ rather than sweat? Hahahaha Same with burps. Some catch you off guard with no time to hide it in a napkin.
Yes, Gary. We all screw up sometimes. Trust me, you are golden, my friend, golden.
I was told the same things growing up! I enjoyed this poem. It’s all about balance and respect, being a lady. And, yes, passion.✨💫
Kindred Spirit, Trudi, I thank you for understanding! 💥💥
Hahaha, yeah, I know what you mean. You could be describing my mom. 💞
At least, Kindred Spirits! Or Soul Sistas … hahaha
That’s true enough. Or my granny’s favourite- ‘you’ve made your bed … ‘
Oh my, yes, that was a good one I heard more than once …
Giving more than receiving is the best way to make impact
I remember those little messages being given by parents and reminded to the girls by the nuns growing up. I never heard the part about holding it though. It was more like the first line about perspiring vs sweating. The quote in our neck of the woods was more like “Ladies don’t fart - they pass gas”.
Definitely all true though, at least at one time. Well done C.J. !
Thank you, Ken. It would have been far kinder to have heard, “they pass gas” … there were times, like after chili, I thought I would blow up because I was holding one. 😁😁
Wifey told me your list was correct and spot on with her and her mom.
When that generation of women graduated from high school, I think they got two handouts … a diploma and a list of “How to be a Lady” guidelines for their eventual daughters …😁😁
Great guidelines by you mom . Fantastic poem by you , C J . hugs and peace to you and family
Thank you, Mitch.
hugs and peace
Well...yes, and AMEN! This poem and post will be bookmarked in my favorites! Loved it! ~Wendy💜🙌
Much appreciated, Wendy.😘
I love this, CJ!
I’m so pleased you do, Angela. Thank you!
Loved this & the poem! My momma told me not to smoke in public…..among all the things you mentioned….she thought public smoking made a woman look “cheap” ! That was about 65 yrs ago….and I still smoke, but not too publicly!🫣🫣
Ahhh Mothers. They do mean well though.
I’m so pleased you enjoyed the poem, Annette. Thank you.
Your poem has emotional and intellectual balance. It's neither shrill nor maudlin.
When I was a kid the nuns were a multiplier for the book of etiquette. They sprinkled their lessons in good behavior with violence. I guess the belief that pain engendered avoidance, and avoidance became the foundation of a behavioral code.
Teresa of Avila wrote a rule for nuns, a training manual of sorts. Of particular interest are her recommendations for dealing with nuns afflicted with melancholy. As if those poor women were not already suffering enough, Santa Teresa advised that melancholic nuns be heaped with physical and psychological abuse. She recommended giving such nuns the dirtiest. Most physically taxing and most distasteful jobs the convent had to offer.
… and that’s how they perpetuate the loving Christ-like way a nun is expected to serve God … that’s criminal.
I appreciate your kind words about my poem, Bob. Thank you.
The craziest part about that list is that it is literally all of the body's self-cleaning mechanisms. Trying to get the old, toxic, hot, sludgy and stinky OUT. Ladies gotta purge or we are gonna be heavy, aging weighed down, sick gals. Better out than in. 90% of my work is retraining societies ideas to let the body let go. Here's to being ladies who Fart.
Also, beautiful and important words! Thank you.
Thank you, Kristin. Yes, we are ladies. ✨