My Most Embarrassing Moment

Egg on my Face

Just between us, will you also share a “Most Embarrassing Moment”?  You know, the one time that sticks out more than any other and no matter how much time passes, every time you think about it, it still embarrasses you?  Yeah, most of us do.

This one ranks so high that it tips my embarrassment scale onto its ass—besides, at my age I’ve already experienced more than my share of embarrassing moments.

Years ago, when we lived in Indiana and my three daughters were in elementary school, there was a little neighbor girl, Lisa, who always came over wanting to play. She was nice, well-behaved, and her mother, Jane Palmer, (not her real name) was head of the PTA at the same elementary school my children attended.

There was one problem. Lisa always had a runny nose and her finger was continually ‘up there’ to the second knuckle, mining for God only knows what.

Her visits were frowned on by my girls. They even had a secret nickname for her: "Oh no, Mommy, here comes Lisa 'Picker'. Momm-eee, please tell her we're not home. She always picks her nose and it’s gross."

I assured them they didn't have to play all day with Lisa, but they weren’t allowed to be rude to her. She was a sweet little girl, even though she was a bit different. I reminded them, they might be the only ones who were nice to Lisa all day —that’s what’s important.

I wouldn’t have said this to my girls, but I found it hard to blame them. Her visits were a daily ritual and it wasn’t easy to see her with her finger up her nose all the time. I tried to help by having a box of Kleenex near where they were playing, but more than once I saw her wipe her ‘findings’ on her shirt or shorts..

One evening, I was at school for a PTA meeting. After, I talked with several mothers near the refreshment table. Suddenly, at my elbow greeting me warmly was Lisa's mother, the head of the PTA.

The other mothers stopped talking, waiting for an introduction, since she and I obviously knew one another.  I started to introduce her, "Ladies, I would like you to meet the head of the PTA, Jane ... Puhh … Pahh .."  I stopped, horrified. My mind raced, but her last name was a blank!  All I could think of was 'Picker!' Oh Crap, what was her last name?

Jane noticed the pained look on my face and kindly broke the silence, "Hello, I'm Jane Palmer. I'm glad to meet all of you.  Thank you for coming to the meeting."

… and me, embarrassed as hell, with nothing to scrape the egg off my face.