Question About Loss Answered

"How do I move forward after losing my husband?"

A woman left the following question in a comment on one of my posts.  As a Vietnam War widow, I’m putting my answer to her in a post in case there may be others going through something similar.

“CJ, how do I move forward after losing my husband?  We were together for over 40 years.  I feel paralyzed and so lost without him.”

First, I want to say, “I understand.”  At first, it’s all you can do just to get out of bed in the morning. Your whole world -- or what used to be your world, was suddenly turned upside down. It’s now a foreign place. It’s cold and unrecognizable and everything feels different.

To move forward, just keep putting one foot in front of the other one. Repeat until you make it across the room, or to the bathroom, or to the kitchen.

I know my answer probably sounds like I’m being a smart aleck, but please know, I’m being honest. Losing my husband was the single most difficult time in my life.  Trying to move forward was right up there with having a normal thought --nearly impossible.

For a while, the days are filled with visits from well-meaning friends and family, and phone calls, but in between are too many decisions to ask of a bruised heart and an incapable mind.

You don’t want to think about burial plots, cemeteries, a funeral home, an obituary, or who you want to handle the guest book during calling hours. Those are all things that will hurt and make your new world too real.

That’s when I realized, nothing could, or would ever hurt me that badly again. That’s now my yardstick for measuring pain.

I hope I have answered your question. 

Note: Grief therapy would be the most helpful, but you would also benefit from being allowed to talk freely about your feelings.

Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018.
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