Firmly Set in The Fall of Life
Short Fiction, by C.J. Heck
Anna McGee was signing a birthday card for her oldest daughter, Chelsea, at the kitchen table and enjoying a late morning cup of coffee.
The card was lovely, with pastel rosebuds, delicate greenery, and threaded at the edges with dainty ecru ribbon. Inside, was one of the most touching verses Anna had ever read. The florist will deliver the bouquet of freesia sometime this afternoon. Chelsea loves freesia and it really does have the most heavenly scent.
Yesterday, she spent nearly the whole morning in the card store laughing at the silly ones, fighting tears over the sad ones, and suddenly, there was the perfect card. It captured her sentiments exactly about maternal love, and the pride she felt in the woman and mother Chelsea had become.
Then something odd occurred to her. Friday, Chelsea would be forty-eight. The thought caught Anna off guard, like a sucker-punch to the solar plexus, and she couldn't catch her breath for a minute.
It wasn't that Chelsea would be forty-eight. It was more than that. Anna was exactly twenty years older than her daughter, which meant Anna would be sixty-eight on Friday. What struck her so deeply was where had the years gone and how had they sneaked by so silently?
She was never one who minded getting older, but this year it felt different. My God, she thought, I'm in the fall of my life, and I didn't see it coming. How did it get here so fast?
Anna put the pen down on the table and stared absently out the kitchen window. Wasn’t it only yesterday that I was young and crouched at the starting gate, waiting for the starter pistol for my life to begin?
All of my plans, hopes and dreams had been stretched out in front of me. Then wasn't it just yesterday that I was awaiting the arrival of Chelsea, my first-born?
Reaching further back, Anna's thoughts turned melancholy. As a child, she remembered looking up at her grandparents and feeling such awe. These were daddy's mommy and daddy. They must be very special, because daddy sure was.
She used to think her grandparents were as old as the trees. Their hair was snow white and they always came with little bottles of pills they lined up on the kitchen countertop.
Being so old, she thought they were probably very wise, too, so she always paid special attention to what they talked about.
Grampa told her stories about being a boy when there were more horses on the streets than cars. He said they didn't have TV's back then. They read books and played games at the kitchen table, especially when it rained.
When it was sunny, they played outside games, climbed trees, or went skinny dipping in Scribner’s pond. She smiled, remembering the wonderful way Grampa explained everything so she could almost see what he was describing, through his words.
Anna thought, yes, they were old, but I adored them and I saw them through eyes overflowing with love. I never tired of hearing their stories.
I remember going with them for ice cream cones at the dairy store, and hearing Grandma hum while she baked pies, and watching Grampa puff on his curved pipe that made the whole room smell good.
Then another sobering thought hit Anna. I am now older than my grandparents were when they passed away. How I miss them. It was in that moment she realized she wanted to be just like them.
When we’re young, time gently nudged us towards the finish line. We hardly noticed time at all, unless we were waiting for something, like Christmas or a birthday. That underlined how slow time moved, for a child.
As we grew older, life grew too. Our days were full and we got so busy that everything in it changed. We suddenly found out how fast time does go -- like facing the forty-eighth birthday of your oldest child.
Anna smiled. On this day in the fall of my life, time finally caught up with me and it caught me off guard.
I have a few regrets, Anna thought. There are things I wish I hadn’t done, some I should have done, and even a few I wish I had done differently. But there are also many wonderful things I’m happy I did, and I'm glad I had the chance to.
Anna took another sip of her coffee, which had turned ice cold. I don’t know how long my fall will last. I have no promises I’ll ever see winter, but I do know I've enjoyed this life.
Hey, what am I thinking? It’s not over yet. There are things I want to accomplish, dreams that can still come true, children and grandchildren to hug —and to share my own stories with.
Anna smiled as she remembered what Mama used to say. Now it finally made sense.
"Life is a gift, baby girl. How we live it is our gift to ourselves."
Okay, that's it. No more wasting minutes. I’m going to put a stamp on this birthday card, drop it in the mailbox, and then I'll call Chelsea.
After that, I think l’ll get busy exploring more of my gift ...