Introducing Millie Cole, wife of Jacob, mother of Kali and Kristin, and grandmother to Edward, Kali’s 8 year-old son.
Tonight at dinner, Kali shocked everyone by announcing she and her husband are getting a divorce -- news that rocked Millie’s world a second time that week.
Millie felt like she was falling off a tall building with no parachute. She was sitting on a folding wooden chair in the front row of the Rose Room of McDermott’s Funeral Home. Her eyes were locked on a rosewood coffin surrounded by flowers at the front of the room.
Millie was there to say a last goodbye to her grandfather, who passed away two days ago. Already, she missed him terribly. Add to that Kali’s bad news about the divorce at dinner, and it was fair to say, Millie was feeling very vulnerable.
Her thoughts wandered back to a summer when she was Edward’s age. It was the summer she was given the most precious gift she had ever received.
The gift was so dear, and yet it didn’t come tucked in tissue paper in a store box. It didn't have colorful wrapping paper or pretty ribbons and bows. It didn’t even come with a greeting card. It was just a simple loving gift, and it was from Grampa ...
Millie had just turned eight when her best friend, Kylie, said her parents were getting a divorce. Kylie was heartbroken and crying hard. Millie didn't know what to say or do to comfort her. She couldn't understand why Kylie's parents would get a divorce and Millie was mad at them for hurting Kylie that way.
Millie rode the school bus home in silence. When the driver opened the door in front of her house, Grandpa was there waiting. She was happy to see him. Maybe Grampa could help her understand why this was happening.
Grampa gave Millie a hug. "Hi there, Millie-Me."
She told Grampa about her talk with Kylie and now she felt bad for Kylie. "Why would her parents do that? It’s hurting Kylie. I don't understand, Grampa. Why would grownups get a divorce?" Millie asked in a voice choked with tears.
Grampa got down on one knee and hugged her again, trying to think of a way to explain divorce to Millie. It should be visual, something she could see to understand. All of a sudden, the perfect idea came to him. Grampa held Millie out in front of him and looked into her eyes.
"How about you and me taking a little walk to the park? It's time we go for an ice cream cone." She wasn’t excited, but Millie agreed and she took Grampa's hand when he offered it. It was a nice walk and Grampa's hand felt comfortable and safe.
After Grampa paid for their cones, they walked down the winding path, under the thick canopy of trees, past an old woman feeding pigeons, until they came to an empty bench.
After sitting there a while, Grampa pointed at her cone, “You know, honey, falling in love and getting married are just like your ice cream cone. You got one scoop and it tasted so good, you asked for another scoop right on top of that one."
Millie was busy licking little drips starting to run down the side of her cone to say anything, so she nodded.
After a few minutes, Grampa pointed at the sky. "Today sure is hot. Yep, there isn't a cloud in the sky. The sun’s shining down on you, and on your ice cream cone, too, but it looks like you’re enjoying it. Yep. In spite of all the drips running down onto your hands, it must really be good, because the faster it melts, the faster you’re licking to stop the dripping."
Millie nodded again. What Grampa said was true. The drips were coming faster now. Her tongue was working hard to keep up with them. Grampa saw Millie nod.
"Do you see those flies and gnats circling around? They’ve been watching you and they want some of that great ice cream, too. Look how they’ve started flying at your cone to grab little bites. With the hand that isn’t holding your ice cream cone, you’re swiping and swatting like crazy to keep the bugs away."
Now Millie giggled. Grampa made the bugs sound like real people who wanted her to share! Grampa giggled, too.
"Now, what if Old Blue was here? Let's say that old hound dog of yours is sound asleep in the shade over there." Grampa said, pointing at the grass under a huge oak tree. Let's say he wakes up and sees all the drips you’re leaving on the sidewalk. He would probably come over here and lick a few of those drips. He might even like them so much he'd try and steal a few bites from the cone in your hand!"
Millie frowned, thinking about the melting ice cream and the pesky bugs. "I'm sure glad Old Blue's not here, too, Grampa. There isn't enough ice cream on my cone for everybody!" She said loudly.
"Well, there you are, honey. You'd be holding your cone with one hand, swiping at the bugs with the other, pushing Old Blue away with your elbows, and the sun would still be melting the ice cream faster than your tongue can lick it. Seems to me, you'd be in a real pickle, Miss Millie-Me."
The bugs were so pesky now that Millie was angry. She jumped off the bench and quickly twisted right, then left, then right and …
(( P L O P ))
Disappointed, Millie groaned. She stared at the mushy pile of ice cream and cone now upside-down on the ground between her feet. Sadly, she walked back to the bench, sat down next to Grampa, and sighed. Taking one last peek at her ice cream cone, she asked, “Grampa, now HOW is THAT like people getting MARRIED?”
“Sweet girl, marriage is exactly like your ice cream cone. It’s just what you wanted when you wanted it. The love part is pretty wonderful —there’s nothing like it. Sometimes, though, there are a lot of outside things that start getting in the way.
Each of them is taking big bites and little bites, pushing and shoving, and melting away all the really good, even the very best, parts. Until suddenly, there’s nothing left. What happened to your ice cream cone happens to a couple's marriage, even to really nice people.”
Millie listened to her grampa's words. Getting married sounded like a lot of work and a lot of problems. Millie folded her arms across her chest and took a deep breath. She made up her mind. “Grampa, I don't EVER want to get married.”
“Millie-Me, think of it like this. That ice cream cone sure was good. Yeah, it ended up on the sidewalk, but you worked real hard to keep it, and I'm proud of you. I hope you'll always remember, for a while, it was really, really good. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you just can’t hold it together anymore.”
Millie finally understood. She gave Grampa a hug which he returned. "Thank you, Grampa. Even though it’s gone, it was worth all the work just to have it. I love you."
Grampa smiled and kissed the top of her head. "You're welcome, sweet girl. I love you, too. C'mon, let's go home."
The organ music jolted Millie back to the present, but she smiled -- not a big smile, mind you, but a smile just the same. Those were such perfect memories, and she will always treasure them.
“Grampa, you will be terribly missed. Thank you for your love”.
"Hi, Gram." Millie was surprised again, this time, right out of her daydream. She looked up to see Edward’s tear-stained face as he plopped down in the chair beside her. "This is a triple-dog bad day, Gram," he said through new tears. "First Great-Grampa died, then Mom and Dad saying they’re getting a divorce. Why? It's just not fair."
"I know, Eddie, I know." Millie said as she wiped at the tears escaping down his cheek. Then with a hug, "Let's go see your mother for a minute. I think it's time you and I walk down to the park for an ice cream cone."
And after wiping at a truant tear of her own, Millie said, "C’mon, Eddie, let's go make a memory ..."
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I never really had that wise old man when I was younger. I think that in part is why I feel I grew up too fast. My grandfathers died when I was still in grammar school and my dad really wasn’t the sit down and recite wise verses type. My brother became close to that but damn, we were in bars drinking before that became reality. I did have a few when I coached Little League that, well, we’re close to the wise man concept, and I took them to be more mentors then wise souls.
This was great. I think I’m going to make my own ice cream cone and hope it doesn’t end up on the floor 🤭🤭
ps - dad came to me in the coffee shop today. Maybe I just now figured out why. 😇😇
Loved it! Love your stories with kids and the past!