The Sears Tower

Mama's Fear of Heights

The worst thing I ever laughed at wasn’t a ‘thing’, but a ‘who’.

Years ago, I was raising my three daughters and living in the Chicago area.  Anytime my parents came for a visit from Ohio, it was always our custom to take them somewhere new to them and afterwards, we all went out for lunch.

The last time they visited, we took them to the semi-famous Woodfield Mall.  It was touted to be the largest mall in Illinois, as well as the largest in the country with 300 stores.  This visit, we thought it would be fun to take them to the top of the Sears Tower, which at the time was the tallest building in the U.S.

After a fast elevator ride to the top, there is a magnificent 360 degree view of the entire city. On the ride up, Mama reminded us of her phobic fear of heights, something I had forgotten in my haste to share a rare and exciting treat with them.

Something else I had forgotten was the gentle sway you could feel at the top of the Sears Tower …

As soon as the elevator spit us out, Mama felt the sway. Oh my, did she feel the sway!  Mama never left the wall just outside the elevator doors. She stood belly to the wall, arms spread out in both directions for support, while the rest of us enjoyed the view over at the windows.

Seeing her discomfort, I felt so sorry I hadn’t remembered her fear of heights.  I immediately started to herd everyone back toward the elevator. 

It was crowded in the elevator on our trip back down. Mama was standing in front of the closing doors talking about how good it would feel to be on the ground again.

Then it happened …

The doors closed on the bottom of Mama’s skirt and as the elevator went down, her skirt went up … FAST, leaving a red-faced, very proper lady standing there in her slip, skirt above her head, arms desperately trying to cover herself, and my Dad reaching, straining, yet unable to pull her skirt out of the elevator doors.

I swear, I couldn’t help myself. I started to laugh. No matter how hard I tried to stifle it, I couldn’t stop.  I laughed until I thought I would pee myself —all the while knowing I shouldn’t be laughing at all, but it was just too funny. 

Once we were back on terra firma, even Mama saw the humor and began to laugh at the bold impropriety of the situation ---how dare the elevator grab her skirt and drag it above her head like that? 

Daddy decided it was somehow designed to break the tension of Mama’s frightening trip into hell at the top of the tallest building in the country. 

I thought it was more like being trapped in a crazy episode of “I Love Lucy” …