Before Christmas this year, I was feeling melancholy, but I kept it to myself. There were several things, crystal splinters, that darkened my favorite time of year.
It would be the first year without our little chihuahua, Toby. His congestive heart failure took him from us a couple of months ago. He loved the holidays, with extra golf cart rides at night to see houses dressed in colored lights, and our indoor tree and presents. Toby loved all of it and we loved our Toby.
This year was also full of missing our families. They’re all up north in four different states. I was overly aware the holidays were coming at me, full speed. Everywhere we went, Santa Claus was in our faces and I missed my girls and grandchildren all the more.
Oh, to have a time machine and revisit the kinder, more gentle time we saw watching Christmas movies every night.
Then on Christmas Eve, I got the chance to go back in time, a grandson’s time, to a much younger age. Liam is twenty-six now, but I remembered a discussion I had with him over twenty years ago, when he was only four.
Christmas was a couple of days away when he called. He said he couldn’t wait for Christmas.
“Grammy, what do you think Santa is doing now —-right NOW?”
I remember I turned it around and asked Liam what he thought Santa was doing. Without a second's hesitation, here's what he said:
"Well Gram, Santa is prolly practicing HO-HO-HOs, polishin’ his sleigh and his black boots, and feedin’ his reindeer. I bet Rudolph is ready to lead and his nose is already shined up.
The elves are prolly puttin’ toys in Santa’s red bag, and even if they get up early every day, it will still take them all the way to Christmas Eve to get all the toys in the bag! They’re prolly cleaning the workshop, too, 'cause pretty soon, they have to start makin’ stuff for next year.
I ‘spect the elves are still findin’ wish lists from kids all over the place. You know, Gram, they’re s’posed to tell Santa if the kids were naughty – ‘cept maybe they won‘t, ‘cause it’s not nice to tattle.
Mrs. Claus is prolly cookin’ a lot, 'cause it’s not good to have Santa be skinny. Somebody might peek when he comes down the chimney! <giggle>. She's baking stuff for Santa’s trip and packin’ carrots for the reindeer in case they get hungry. Santa gets cookies and milk from kids where he goes, so that keeps him fat.
When Christmas Eve comes, the only stuff she still has to do is have his red suit clean, his boots shiny, and make Santa take a nap, so he won't be cranky on the sleigh."
I asked Liam, "Do you know why we give and get presents at Christmas?"
“Yeah, Grammy. It’s ‘cause God let His little boy, Jesus, get born on Christmas. That’s His birthday, but we can’t give Him birthday presents ‘cause He’s up in heaven. Then we go to church to thank God for Jesus on His birthday.”I don’t know zactly when -- but Santa Claus got real so he can give us Jesus’ presents.
“So how do you know Santa Clause is real?” I asked him.
“Gram-mee, if he isn’t real, how do we write letters to him? How do we sit on his lap and talk to him? Who eats all the cookies and milk? (A big exasperated sigh) It’s just somethin’ kids know, Gram.”
(Ahhh, who am I to argue with the innocent wisdom of a four-year-old?)
“Gram, you gonna come over later?”“Sure! Thanks for calling and telling me about Santa.”
“Yep. Bye Gram.”
“Bye.”
When we look at Christmas through a child‘s eyes, believing in Santa Claus isn’t really all that bad, is it? He’s pretend, yes, but as long as children understand the true meaning of Christmas, then their belief in Santa is harmless -- and it brings them so much joy.
I remember …
Santa and the whole Christmas mystique is something no one forgets. It's a huge part of childhood and in the blink of an eye it's gone, like a brilliant flash of light …
… that is, until we get to revisit it with a four-year old grandson. And in reliving the memory, my melancholy mood simply disappeared …