Robert and I had always had dogs while raising our children in our respective families. We both thought similarly that it was important for children to have a pet to love and care for. We loved our dogs, but they were after all, just dogs. Most of our time was spent raising our children, their sports, jobs and everything else you’re responsible for when you’re young.
After Robert and I became a couple, we often talked about adopting a dog —we always said, “Some day”. Then one morning, I was reading the newspaper and there at the top of a page was an ad for an animal shelter. There was a photo of a little chihuahua looking right into the camera with a caption:
“Hi, my name is Toby. I’m waiting to meet you and I just know you will want to bring me home and love me. I’m waiting for you.” —Toby
That is how we came to adopt the most adorable 10-pound chihuahua named Toby eight years ago from a shelter. Oh how we loved our little man! He was like a child to us. He went everywhere we went, slept in our bed, we even had a basket on our bikes and the basket on the back of our golf cart was lined with a baby blanket for him.
The woman at the shelter said he was between five and six years old. Last year we found out from his veterinarian that he had congestive heart failure. We already knew he was deaf and blind in one eye from a cataract. The time came a couple of months ago (he was 14) when his little heart beat out its last “I love you, Mommy and Daddy.”
We buried Toby in our yard and I wrote this poem for Robert from Toby.
To Daddy from Toby ---I Haven’t Left You
I stood beside our bed last night, I came to have a peek.
I could see that you were sad and you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you so softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was in your lap this morning, and I saw you drink your coffee,
You were thinking of the times your hands reached down to pet me.
I was with you when you went outside, your arms were feeling sore,
Because you dug a grave for me and I couldn't love you more.
I was with you when you buried me. You did it with such care.
I want to reassure you though, It's not me lying there.
I was with you at the door as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I barked, and said "it's me."
You looked so very tired as you sank into your chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was also there.
It's possible for me to be beside you every day
To have you know with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew ...
In the quiet of the evening, I was sitting next to you.
The day is over now. I sigh and watch you yawning
then I said, "Goodnight” to you. “I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the big divide,
I'll rush across to greet you --we'll again be side by side.
I have so much to tell you, there is much for you to see.
Be patient. When your life is done, come “Home” and be with me.
Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Smiles and Tears.