As most of you have found out, kids say the darndest things. When they don’t know the name of something, they will make one up. If they don’t know the real use for something, again, they will make one up.
I raised three daughters and I have eleven grandchildren. During my sweet and interesting tenure as Mother and Grammy, there isn’t a whole lot that toddlers haven’t “advised me” about, at one time or another.
Just for shits and grins, I’m listing some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten from a toddler. Most of it I’m sure they learned … ahem … for getting in trouble for it in the first place. Most of them had the same lead-in question: “Hey Grammy, guess what!”
“Hey Grammy, guess what!”
“Flowers don't needs any feet.”
“Don’t pee in the pool, or you’ll have to sit in the naughty chair.”
“Don’t squeeze a worm —it will die.”
“You have to wear clothes out to play. You get yelled at if you go outside naked.”
“Pennies are not more than a dollar, even if your brother says they are.”
“Don't wipe off where ladies kiss you.”
“Cookies smell better than cheese. If you want one, you got to say "please".”
“Always go pee in the potty, not in your pants, 'cause that's naughty.”
“Mommy's kiss helps what is hurting.”
“No dessert if you don't eat your meat.”
“You got to blow boogers in tissue.”
“Laugh 'cause it's better than cry,”
“When I wake mommy up, never holler.”
“Daddy says swears I can't say.”
“Never tell people they're fat. It will hurt them if we do that.”
“Rocks aren't for throwing at others, but I can throw at brothers.”
“You can’t cut water.”
“Never EVER smell a bumble bee! That hurts!”
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