Vietnam Vets' Blog: Memoirs from Nam

Writer’s Block: bye bye MoJo

Sometime in 2020, I suddenly couldn’t write. I couldn’t understand why I felt so burned out. I had lost my MoJo. In short, I was toast.

Up until then, I was writing every day and posting on three blogs I began in 2010: A writer’s blog, one dedicated to spiritual awareness, and a blog devoted to Vietnam War veterans. The vet blog was far and away what kept me busiest.

As a Vietnam War widow, I had met dozens of Vietnam vets through the various groups I belonged to in Facebook and LinkedIn. I felt so honored, because they accepted me, invited me to their reunions, and even called me “Sister”.

I heard their concerns about PTSD, the VA, Agent Orange, and Survivor Guilt. I felt their frustration, and shared their pain as well as their triumphs. Most of them rarely spoke about their time in country in the groups. Like me, they had buried their real pain for nearly half a century.

We spent hours talking about The Vietnam Memorial Wall and the thousands of names etched there.  Those were the brothers and sisters they fought beside and lost while in country. As a result, most of them carried a haunting survivor guilt with them everywhere.

I knew how much writing helped me heal. So I started the Vietnam War vet blog, encouraging them to write and share anything they wanted to with their brothers and for a country I felt was finally ready to hear their truth about that Era. I hoped writing would help everyone begin to heal.

99% of the vet blog was posts by veterans who were shyly sharing their stories, some for the very first time.

Most were writing about things they had buried inside for decades and had never spoken about before with anyone.  I encouraged them to face their fear and write for healing.

Some vets had written books about their experiences; others, meaningful poetry, or short stories, about the horrors of war. I gladly promoted their posts, their books, and them personally, in the blog.

Many even found the courage to write about specific firefights. They wrote short, or long posts about the experience of going away as innocent, impressionable boys, and coming home as misunderstood, broken and disillusioned men —back to a country of people they felt didn’t appreciate what they had sacrificed for them by doing what they were trained and told to do.  Everything they wrote was honest and straight from the heart.

Then I woke up one day to find my creativity gone. I couldn’t write. I was burned out and even thinking about the backlog of submissions for the blog made me sad. But there was nothing I could do to change it. 

This writing hiatus lasted until my partner, Robert, introduced me to Quora in 2014.  Within a few days, my MoJo was back.  Like a little ocean crab who outgrows its shell and backs it’s butt into a new one, I, too, had found a new home —but mine would be writing at Quora.

After ten years at Quora, I left and came here.  Substack is a much more serious platform for writers. Quora went from “serious writers only” to a relaxed “anyone can join” platform.  That brought trolls, spammers, and others who treated Quora like a dating app.

I’m 75 now.  I’ve lived a long life and I’ve had a lot of experiences. If I can help anyone, because of something I’ve been through, or know something about, I’ll be happy. I would feel I’ve met my purpose. (And maybe someday I’ll even make a few dollars here and that would be really great). 

I felt bad I couldn’t keep the blog going, but everything they wrote is still there.  A lot of the original vets from the blog have since passed on but those of us who knew them will always have a safe place for them in our hearts. 

Each peacefully rejoins their buddies. They’re Home again, and there’s one more face on the other side of the huge black granite wall …

Memoirs From Nam

Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018.
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