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mitch's avatar

Yikes tough teacher C J , It was an honest mistake on your part .,If you close your eyes now and think back to it you might laugh. Never be shy be yourself . It is the only way to grow and survive . Hugs and love to you and family

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Oh Mitch, I know you’re right. That was such a long time ago. I left shy behind when I was a sophomore in high school and I got contacts. NO more thick glasses.

She was a horrible woman —probably a decent teacher, but she ruined it for me.

Thank you!

Hugs and Love

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mitch's avatar

I had a teacher like that that was just a miserable old lady , mean and rude . I had her in first grade he name was miss Strong . All the kids hated her an her them just our luck after my second grade , ms Strong switched to third grade . I spent many days in the hallway lol . I am sure you changed a lot since then C J . we all love you for it . hugs and peace

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C.J. Heck's avatar

You have such a good heart, Mitch —the size of Texas, and I love you for that.

I guess we all get one or two mean teachers in life, although I can’t for the life of me figure out why! (laughing)

hugs and peace

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mitch's avatar

I have no idea with mine lmao . She was really old and mean thinking that is why she was a miss and not a mrs . She was in her late 60s when i had her in first grad o maybe 70 or 71 in third . Think lik you said we all get at least one like that lol. Hugs and peace too you and family

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I think they just burn out after doing it for years and years. She probably retired. 💞😁😁

hugs and peace

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Francesca Bossert's avatar

What a horrible woman. Like you, I was terribly shy at school. Although, I wasn’t initially, until 4th grade when I had a teacher who I found terrifying. Madame Metral, was her name. She was abrupt and had a sharp, shrill voice. Then, later, in around 8th grade, when I was jn the international school, I had a geography teacher, American, who everyone adored because he was apparently soooo cool. Well, he was so cool that he made fun of me jn class because I wore a silk scarf around my neck and the knot had come through my hair at the back and looked apparently like a green rose. I remember him saying green rose, and everyone laughing. Ugh! I never knotted my scarves again. Crazy how we such detail. It’s truly traumatic.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

You, too, Cesca? I’m so sorry. When I look back I wonder what it was that I actually learned from that teacher. I can’t remember anything beyond her cruelty. I’m sure I learned more because I’m a writer and everything English is behind, under, over, around, and in front of my writing. Some had to have come from her teachings … ahh well, you and I both recovered and became stronger. Look at us now (wink).

Have a great day, Cesca! 😊😁💞❤️

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Francesca Bossert's avatar

I can’t remember anything else about those teachers, apart from the geography teacher’s moustache (it was the 70s…) And yes, look at us now! You have a lovely day too, CJ. It’s a big blue and yellow day here, but cold! xx

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I will try, thank you, Cesca!

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C. Mercaldi-Cotton's avatar

I'm so sorry you had to experience such humiliation at a time when teachers could get away with that kind of behavior toward their helpless students. Things weren't necessarily "better" then than they are now, only different (if we're to be honest).

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I know you’re right — she used me as an example, but I was one of the good kids …

Thank you, sweet lady!

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C. Mercaldi-Cotton's avatar

It sounds like she was a typical bully who picks on the "shy guy" who will give the least resistance. I'm sure you not only WERE one of the "good kids" but still ARE!!!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Carol, you are mighty good for the soul, but I WAS still chewing gum from lunchtime and that was the first “DO NOT” rule on her stupid list. I would have been fine if she just had me spit the gum out in the trash can instead of having me stand in it.

much love

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C. Mercaldi-Cotton's avatar

I'm sorry, CJ, but that bully needs and deserves no defense, especially from her victim. The punishment was too great for the "crime", especially on the first infraction. And the psychic damage it caused (over an entire lifetime!) far exceeded any deleterious effect your gum chewing had on the class or the bully! My entire life I've heard victims excuse abusive failure, especially from the adult children of abusive parents. (Not so in your case). I don't know why they feel the need to do this. My hunch is that in some way they feel they are at least partially responsible because they were "bad" and "misbehaved." I find the older I get, the more I tend to do that myself--excusing my parent's negligence, among other worse things, because I now see my child-self through adult eyes and recognize that in some ways, I was a "difficult" child. I think of myself as being "fair minded" about this and taking my share of the blame removes some of the pain. But, in truth, except for the rarest of cases, if a child is "difficult" it's for good reason and that reason rests squarely on mom 'n dad. Just sayin', my dear.

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Simone Senisin's avatar

Disciplining children through humiliation and shame, archaic … not that chewing gum needs discipline. She certainly had a damaged ego. We had a science teacher who used to hit us over the knuckles with a steel ruler if we didn’t do our homework. Then he would write things on the board like: the following students are wogs - and then write all the names of the Russian refugee kids in the board - terrible 😞

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Yes! A damaged ego could possibly be what her problem was. I used to think she had a terribly overbearing life, a controlling husband or father, and because she had no control in her homelife, she balanced it by being controlling in her work life. Of course, we’ll never know.

What is a wog? It sounds pitiful.

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Elizabeth Grace Martinez's avatar

what?! that's a crazy story.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Absolutely true. You can’t make stuff like that up. It sounds crazy now, but it was mean back then

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Elizabeth Grace Martinez's avatar

so mean!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you Elizabeth! Those are my exact words.

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Dave Karpowicz's avatar

CJ, That woman carried some serious damage. I am sorry she inflicted her pain on you. D

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you, Dave. She was old and most likely she retired within a year or two. I think she used me as an example — this is what will happen if you break her rules.

Thank you for your thoughts, Dave.

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Connie J. Casella's avatar

I've had a similar situation but mine was after school when I had to write something, (I forget what and I forget how many times). My English teacher couldn't understand my writing! And he also sent me to the principal's office! I will never forget that day. (I was in the ninth grade.)

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Morning, Connie! If I were a teacher, I would rather be remembered for about anything other than what a mean, vindictive, or rude person I was. I would want my legacy to be one of wise teachings and a positive role model.

I’m sorry you had a teacher like that —what does that ‘teach’ us?

hugs

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Connie J. Casella's avatar

My teacher had a wooden paddle and he used it on Kids who were bad. He then wrote their names on the paddle. I think his name was Mr. Finch or Fetch! I can't remember!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

That’s what I was saying, here this teacher is being remembered for the harm he did, not his teachings, or lessons in morality. How sad, how sad …

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Ken Macko's avatar

I had a nun like that in fourth grade. I think if she ever smiled her face would have cracked. She was just downright mean. I think the trauma of her (that’s the only way I can describe it) lives with me to this day. Lots of the “issues” I go through in terms of coping now seem to link up to her.

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Dec 3
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C.J. Heck's avatar

I think it’s very simply a case of the teacher using me as a warning to the rest of the class not to break her rules. It certainly didn’t help my shyness. If anything, it pushed me deeper inside.

I stopped feeling self-conscious and shy when I was a sophomore in high school and got contact lenses. No more bi-focal thick glasses. I came out of my shell.

I’m glad you found out (yes, sad as it was) the real reason your teacher was so brutal toward you. I wonder if she ever felt guilty about that.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

61 years ago, I remember it being very different in those days. My parents raised six of us and the general rule in our house was, if you get in trouble in school, you will be in trouble at home, too, so be good, mind your teachers, do your homework —be the best you that you can be.

I think children were raised more out of respect in those days. Respect your parents, respect your elders, respect your teachers, the school, etc. Do what you’re told to do.

As you said, these days the children seem to be in charge. Parents want to be their child’s “friend” instead of a parent. Maybe that’s the reason there are so many school shootings … the child is showing authorities who’s in charge.

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