What is a "Barking" Spider?

Join Me and I'll Share the Sweet Backstory ...

What is a Barking Spider?
by CJ Heck

Twenty-five years ago today, my first children's book was released! It’s hard to believe it’s been that long! A lot of people still ask, “Hey, where’d you get the name for your book?” Barking Spiders (and Other Such Stuff).

Some take the name literally and ask what kind of a spider barks and where do you find them? Are they from Africa, Australia, or maybe South America? Do they really bark? How big is a barking spider? Are they hard to kill? Are they poisonous?

Before I answer, I like to tease a little first ...

Q: What kind of a spider is a barking spider?
Me: Oh, you would know one, if you heard it. It's nearly impossible not to hear them. There are a few that are truly silent, but those can be dangerous!

Q: Where do you find barking spiders?
Me: Oh dear, you mean you don't have any barking spiders at your house? They're not limited to any particular country or region. They're everywhere! I would even venture to say sometimes, everyone has them!

Q: Do they really make noise like a dog?
Me: (giggle) I suppose some do, or at least some can.

Q: How big is a barking spider?
Me: Some are so big that you send your child (or your husband) to their room!

Q: Are they hard to kill?
Me: Not really, but it does take a lot of … well, personal control. Sometimes you might be better off just leaving the room.

Q: Are they poisonous?
Me: Oh my, yes! And some are so bad, you’ll swear something must have died!

Before arthritis, when I was still doing author school visits, I routinely asked the group of children I was speaking to if they know what a barking spider is. Almost always, there was one little girl or boy whose hand went up, down, up, then down again. That's just what I was looking for. Of course I always called on them.

Me, pointing: "Do you know what a barking spider is?"

Child: "Well-l-l-l, I know what my daddy says it is ... but it CAN'T be THAT!"

Q: “CJ, you seem like such a classy lady. If it is what I think it is, why would you choose to write about … that?”

Hmmm … I suppose I do have some s’plaining to do. As my way of explaining, I’m going to share the sweet little backstory …

Once when my three daughters were small, we drove from New Hampshire to Ohio to visit family. While we were there, we also visited my youngest brother, Chip, and his wife, Sue, at their home in Columbus.

Chip, the girls and I were all sitting on the floor playing Chutes and Ladders, a children's board game. Midway through the game, my oldest daughter, who was about seven, passed gas. On the wood floor, it reverberated loudly!

She was embarrassed and immediately put her hands over her face and apologized. I was about to tell her it was all right, when Chip jumped up and yelled to Sue in the kitchen, "Sue! Grab the can of Raid under the sink! Hurry! We've got a barking spider in here!"

The girls and I looked at each other and we started to laugh -- huge gut-wrenching laughter that goes on and on! The kind where it finally slows down and just thinking about it makes you laugh all over again! The kind where your eyes water, your nose runs, and you have to hold your sides because they hurt like hell!

Okay, I told you that, so I could tell you this ...

That was 1981. Years later, when Chip turned 40, Sue had a surprise over-the-hill birthday party for him. I wasn't able to go to his party from New Hampshire, so I wrote the poem, "Barking Spiders", as a gag gift for Chip. I asked Sue to have Chip read the poem out loud to all of the party attendees ...

(I know, I can be a real booger, but I'm his older sister and he loves me).

NOW that you know what a barking spider is, here’s the poem that started it all and ended up in two book titles:

Barking Spiders

The barking spiders all march in
just past dinnertime.
Some big, some small, they come to call
floating on the wind behind.

Each is clearly noticed,
although they can't be seen.
You're positive they're there though,
'cause your nose is very keen.

You know you can't outrun 'em
and a net won't get 'em caught.
Your friends laugh 'cause they're funny ...
Your mom yells 'cause they're not.

So open all the windows!
Crack the vents real fast!
'Cause these aren't normal spiders ...
barking spiders are … just gas.

Twelve years later, "Barking Spiders 2" was published. It's the sequel and it has even more barking spiders poems! Two years later, a third book, this one for toddlers, was published: “Me Too! Preschool Poetry”.

Here is one from “Barking Spiders 2” …

Barking Spiders in Church

Those pesky barking spiders
Followed me to church Sunday.
I tried to tell them, “Stay at home!”
But they came anyway.

Then I did something naughty
‘cause they were being bad.
When people turned and looked at me,
I pointed at my dad …

[CJ Heck is a published poet, writer, blogger and the author of five books. For book excerpts, where to buy her books and more information, please visit CJ's World at Substack. https://catherinejheck.substack.com/ CJ is also a Vietnam War widow.]

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