In a nutshell, ghosting is the business of ending a relationship by suddenly and with no reason, or explanation, stopping all communication with someone.
I have a friend who was recently ghosted. The natural tendency is to internalize it and that’s just what she was doing, until she told me about it.
”What could I have done to deserve this?
Did I hurt their feelings?
Did I say something to insult them?
Why did they leave with no warning, or reason?”
After explaining it to her, I think she has a better understanding, because now she knows the fault lies with the ghost-er, not her.
On the other hand, if you were the one ghosted and you were in any way abusive, or at fault, then they don’t owe you an explanation. And it’s a sure bet they don’t want to hear how badly you feel about it.
Ghosting seems so unfair. But that’s because it IS unfair! It doesn’t really matter whose fault it was, or why it happened. Ghosting is heartless and unfeeling. It’s no way to break up with someone, or leave a relationship, or a friendship.
If they ghosted you and no abuse occurred, then they should have done the right thing. They should have told you they want out of the friendship, or relationship, in a phone call, in person, or at the very least, in an email or text message.
Verbal abuse, physical abuse, harassment, even intimidation could be valid reasons for ghosting. Any time someone feels their safety or reputation is being threatened, or violated, ghosting is probably acceptable, and maybe even warrants a legal intervention.
But if you can see no earthly reason why they ghosted you, there’s no point in trying to tell them anything. They were in the wrong, so be satisfied with knowing they were wrong. “Don’t beat a dead horse.”
Consider yourself lucky they’re out of your life —no one needs anyone rude, cruel, or thoughtless in their life. Even if they were to come back, could you trust them not to do it again?
I didn’t think so. Count yourself lucky ...
Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
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I agree ghosting usually happens with people that play on your emotions , than ask for money or gift cards. Has happened to me many many times , except they never got a cent . As for abused people and especially married woman . I have tried to help abused woman here at my house . I heard from many but will focus on one , Every time she was with child , her husband would beat her bad , Even though it was his . End result 6 miscarriages , Using lighter language here .I asked her why she stayed .Got answer i got from most , I am afraid he will kill me . I finally got her straitened out and she left him . Unfortunately a year later she had a massive stroke and passed , All from those beatings . Any so called man that thinks abuse is OK , is a very weak insecure man , same goes for any lady that keeps taking it , Love and peace to all great post c. j.