When We're Ready for Love ...

Real Love Will Find Us.

The idea that you can just go out and ‘find real love’ is one of the biggest misconceptions around. We’ve all heard it said, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince (or princess).” There’s more truth to that than fiction ...

Like anything else, there are exceptions —some have been lucky enough to go out and ‘find’ love, but it’s not the norm. That’s not how it works. When we are ready for love, love will find us.

There are so many things to learn (and unlearn) to be ready for love. Not to do them would be like taking a cake out of the oven before it’s done. Here’s what I’ve learned:

We can’t love anyone else until we love ourselves first.
Be trusted best friends first. (Think of the movie, “You’ve Got Mail”).
Don’t pretend to be someone we’re not.
Be a good listener.
Don’t be judgmental.
Know the value of compromise —it’s always a win-win.
Be in touch with feelings and not afraid to cry.
Be willing to share. That doesn’t mean, “I have two cookies. Here, have one.”
Be willing to be vulnerable and share our deepest self.
Be Truthful, Honest, and Trust and deserve to be Trusted.
Know that inside beauty is more important than outside beauty.
Learn to pick our battles. Most things aren’t worth arguing about.

When someone goes searching for love, they’re wearing their bar or party persona and hell-bent on whatever it takes to make a positive impression.

Most often, what they’ll find is someone wearing their own bar or party persona on their own search for love and putting their own best foot forward. That isn’t real. We can’t find real love that way.

The best way —be friends first. Friendship grows with open two-way sharing: thoughts, feelings, and things both people enjoy. Cultivate best friend friendships to find the best all around ‘fit’.

Then, when you can’t imagine a day or a night without that one person in it, you’ll know …

Love found you.

CJ’s World is reader supported.
If you enjoy my writing, please
consider a paid subscription
so I can continue writing.
Thank you.