"Windows in Heaven" Revisited

Answering a "How did you write the poem?" Question

When I went to Quora this afternoon, I was answering comments put on my posts when I came across this one. It’s the first and only time I have ever been asked what it was like for me to write “Windows in Heaven”.

I didn’t know if maybe anyone here on Substack would be interested to know, as well. So here, with the best of intentions, I’m sharing both the comment and question and my answer.

“Hi CJ:

What an incredible story behind your poem. It’s one thing to write beautiful verses, but it’s something else entirely to pour your heart into words that bring comfort to a grieving child.

“Windows in Heaven” is so gentle and pure, and you’ve captured that mix of confusion, innocence, and hope that a little one might feel with such a big loss.

C.J. Heck, what was it like for you emotionally to write this poem for Jason?

Jim Whitlock”

And my comment back to Jim:

“Hello Jim,

You’re very kind to say all of those nice things about the poem. Thank you. What was it like emotionally to write it for Jason? Wow, that’s a poignant question that cuts right to the entire meat of the poem.

Inspiration came from several places, Jim. For the deepest love and the agonized missing of a loved one, I called on my own feelings when my first husband was a combat medic in Vietnam.

I loved him so deeply that missing him was painful. This allowed me to relate to and feel Jason’s pain on missing his daddy. Then I called on the deeper pain from when my husband was KIA. I was devastated as I’m sure Jason was when he was told about his father’s death.

Those issues gave me access to the emotional feelings I needed for writing. Then I thought back to what would have made things easier for me. That’s where I got the windows in heaven image —it was like a healing balm for me to imagine he could look down and see me from windows. I would sit and stare at the sky for hours some nights.

The beginning of the poem was the easy part for me. I knew I wanted to write easy comparisons there. Jason would say the things he was sure of and then slowly lead up to the “why” of Daddy leaving. Did he leave because of something Jason did or said? Of course not —-and I wanted to make that clear to Jason.

I hope that answers your question, Jim. That’s actually the first and only time anyone has ever asked me to explain how I wrote the poem and for that, I thank you again.

C.J. Heck”

Original “Windows in Heaven” post (with the poem): "Windows in Heaven" for Jason

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