Ad Agencies and Their Commercials

Do they make you want to buy?

Do you remember the Mars Inc., commercial with a lady tattoo artist eating a Milky Way candy bar?  The ad had her putting a tattoo on a man’s upper arm and it read:  “No Regerts” instead of “No Regrets”.  The narrator talks about a Milky Way bar being so good, you can’t think of anything but the great taste.

The commercial didn’t run very long.  It didn’t have the desired effect on consumers.  Instead of making anyone go out and buy a Milky Way candy bar, the ad translated into “Don’t eat a Milky Way.  It will make you stupid.”

How about this Ad: The original Kentucky Fried Chicken figurehead, Colonel Sanders, was a grandfatherly kind of guy. He was a bit on the heavy side with a warm smile, a kind, slow voice you trusted because he was … well, the epitome of Grampas everywhere.

The commercials were always low key, genuine and they allowed us to also trust in KFC.

Maybe it’s just me, but all of the later commercials seemed so perverted. I would be nervous to have small children even watch the ads. I imagine the original Colonel was turning over in his grave, seeing the dirty old men that KFC chose to portray him.

“It’s Finger Lickin’ Goooood.”

Ewwwww …. it was all in the creepy-crawly way they said it!

Why not have the commercials centered around a family having KFC chicken for dinner and if the company insists on someone saying the words, “finger lickin’ good”, have a child innocently say it …

Another commercial that totally misses its mark is for a new deodorant called LUME.  It can be used everywhere on your body. 

They proudly instruct us to rub a pea-sized amount of LUME between our palms, then rub it in between our butt cheeks, “Here, I’ll demonstrate … (pause) … no, she says, I’m only kidding, but LUME will keep odor away for up to 72 hours.”

Now, how the hell do they know that?  “Hello, Sir, so what do you do for employment?” 

“I work in Quality Control at LUME.  I am an odor Sniffer.  I sniff crotches and arm pits every hour to make sure we can still claim LUME lasts 72 hours.  It’s the only way to occasionally catch a bad snatch batch.”

Then LUME claims with only a shower, you will have body odor again after 6-12 hours. On the other hand, taking a shower and applying LUME, you will be odorless for 72 hours, “Pits to balls … (pause) … of your feet, that is.”

How the hell do they know with a shower only, that it will be 6-12 hours and you’ll have body odor again?  Someone has to be sniffing … somewhere.

“Hello, Sir, and what is your line of work?” 

“I am a Quality Control arm pit and butt crack sniffer at LUME.  I tell the company how long after only a shower they will have an odor again.”

“Hello, ladies, men. I see you have a silver star on your door here at LUME. What job do you have?”

“We work in Quality Control at LUME. We are Sniff-ees.  We spread ‘em every hour ...”

Don’t even get me started on that new Manscape Trimmer commercial with the guy and his “boys” …

Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018.
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