In our then small town halfway between Boston and Providence, we called the rowdies, "ruggies" or "greasers." A few were tough as fighters, but most of them were just bullies who picked on those they knew they could intimidate. Once you fought back, they left you alone.
That was true in our town, too. Once bullies were shown they couldn’t bully any longer, they gave up.
I remember my dad telling a brother, don’t ever start a fight. However, if someone draws you into one, don’t back down. Hit him hard and hit him early, then walk away.
If you’re attacked by several at once, pick the largest and hit him hard and hit him early. They will get the message to leave you alone.
That courthouse looks eerily like the one where my parents got their contentious and hideous divorce. It was also the one, for me, where the Friend of the Court decided that a kid is too stupid and too young to determine where it's safe--and isn't. While kids are born innocent, it really doesn't take long for them to experience evil, fear and uncertainty. Some of them will become "rowdies," while others thrive in spite of bad parenting and adverse conditions. It's amazing that so many kids turn out right despite what happens around them.
Hello Carole. You can look up any courthouse in any town right on Google Images and photos will populate your screen. But I would imagine most of them look pretty similar in style. A courthouse is a courthouse 😁😂🤣
Sadly, you’re right. If a child is born innocent into a family where evil, fear, and uncertainty thrive, he can’t help but have some difficult choices to make someday when he’s old enough.
You are so right and even the rough kids are born in innocence… it is about time that all children could grow up in unconditional love and see from the adults around them that everyone is of equal worth and deserves kindness and respect ❤️
What you say is so true, there is so much we can learn from each other, if only people who see that… let’s keep on hoping that the world will change one day ❤️
I grew up in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin and although it's the county seat, it has always had a small-town feel to it. When I was growing up it always felt more like a large neighborhood to me.
I’ve heard of Fond du Lac. It’s supposed to be beautiful country up there.
What I’ve always found amazing is how as a child my hometown felt so safe and secure, like those square miles of town were my entire world. In a way, it was my entire world —like there was a huge glass bubble over it for protection.
After high school, when I left, I was amazed all over again when that huge glass bubble disappeared and I faced each new world on my own.
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt and thoughtful reflection. Your memories of that small Ohio town really paint a picture of a simpler, more innocent time — a time when the biggest worries were rowdies rather than the heavier social divisions and dangers kids face today.
It’s powerful how you point out that children are born innocent, and that prejudice is something learned, often from the environment around them. That makes me wonder: what do you think are some practical ways we, as a community or as individuals, can help raise children today in a way that preserves their innocence and teaches them to embrace differences instead of fearing or judging them?
Wow, that’s a profound review, Steven, and I truly appreciate your warm thoughts. Rarely have I received a more positive, well-expressed and well-written comment from a reader. Thank you most sincerely.
As to your request for my thoughts on practical ways of raising children that preserves their innocence and teaches them to embrace differences instead of fearing or judging them …
In a truly enlightened society, it would be an easy proposition to raise children in an accepting environment, and tolerant of differences. That being said, we are living in a time unlike any in our country’s history. There are so many factors to consider.
To do that today, several levels would have to be modified for an ideal environment in which to raise children. If that could be done, would it even be possible to preserve their innocence and teach them to embrace differences?
It has to start somewhere. Mom and Dad could raise exceptionally well adjusted children who see everyone as equals, taught to embrace the differences, not fear or judge them. Then children go to school ….
It would have to begin at the very top:
We have a President who is heavily prejudiced and speaks publicly about it.
A heavily armed militia (paramilitary groups), members, and their families
When at war, (WW 1 & 2) citizens were urged to hate the “Japs and Germans”
Teachers, schools. Books
Computers and the Internet
Parents, grandparents, other family members
So many uncontrolled variables make it nearly impossible to cause the change we would like to see happen in our society today.
You're so right, C.J. Parenting (even grandparenting) is a nightmares, and I have plenty of those where my grands are in peril. Everything from alligators to men in white vans. So, we have helicopter parents who hover over every activity their kids have. What's really weird, though, are the kids who submerged themselves in computer games and social media. Oh yes, they're safe from the predators on the streets, but what lurks behind the screens is even more insidious.
One of my favorite books is Ray Bradbury's Dandelion Wine. In that beautiful book of summer in 1920s Midwestern America is one really scary thing: the gully and the horrible man who lurks there. Bradbury writes other stories of childhood horrors, too, all within that same era of supposed prosperity and safety for children. Alas, the boogeyman lives forever. As children, we just weren't aware of it.
CJ, I keep hoping society is near the bottom of its cycle and will soon begin to get better. D
I do, too, Dave. It’s been too long this way … We can hope.
In our then small town halfway between Boston and Providence, we called the rowdies, "ruggies" or "greasers." A few were tough as fighters, but most of them were just bullies who picked on those they knew they could intimidate. Once you fought back, they left you alone.
That was true in our town, too. Once bullies were shown they couldn’t bully any longer, they gave up.
I remember my dad telling a brother, don’t ever start a fight. However, if someone draws you into one, don’t back down. Hit him hard and hit him early, then walk away.
If you’re attacked by several at once, pick the largest and hit him hard and hit him early. They will get the message to leave you alone.
That courthouse looks eerily like the one where my parents got their contentious and hideous divorce. It was also the one, for me, where the Friend of the Court decided that a kid is too stupid and too young to determine where it's safe--and isn't. While kids are born innocent, it really doesn't take long for them to experience evil, fear and uncertainty. Some of them will become "rowdies," while others thrive in spite of bad parenting and adverse conditions. It's amazing that so many kids turn out right despite what happens around them.
Hello Carole. You can look up any courthouse in any town right on Google Images and photos will populate your screen. But I would imagine most of them look pretty similar in style. A courthouse is a courthouse 😁😂🤣
Sadly, you’re right. If a child is born innocent into a family where evil, fear, and uncertainty thrive, he can’t help but have some difficult choices to make someday when he’s old enough.
You are so right and even the rough kids are born in innocence… it is about time that all children could grow up in unconditional love and see from the adults around them that everyone is of equal worth and deserves kindness and respect ❤️
Beautifully said, Simone, and I agree. I wish that could be true …
Me too, let’s keep up hope and share stories like yours ❤️
Thank you, Simone. Share it as much as you like, wherever you think it will help.
We have to start somewhere —children should be raised to accept differences as a chance for everyone to learn from each other.
What you say is so true, there is so much we can learn from each other, if only people who see that… let’s keep on hoping that the world will change one day ❤️
Thank you for quoting and sharing my post, Simone. Let’s BE the change we want to see in others!
You’re welcome, it needed to be shared ❤️ and let’s be the change indeed, together we can start a ripple of change ✨✨✨
I never see or hear children playing outside anymore, so sad.
That’s pretty much what it’s come to and it is sad, Jo-Ann. I agree.
Your small town sounds a lot like the town where I grew up, C.J. except we always considered our rowdies to be located on the west side of town.
What state did you grow up in, Paul?
I grew up in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin and although it's the county seat, it has always had a small-town feel to it. When I was growing up it always felt more like a large neighborhood to me.
I’ve heard of Fond du Lac. It’s supposed to be beautiful country up there.
What I’ve always found amazing is how as a child my hometown felt so safe and secure, like those square miles of town were my entire world. In a way, it was my entire world —like there was a huge glass bubble over it for protection.
After high school, when I left, I was amazed all over again when that huge glass bubble disappeared and I faced each new world on my own.
It is a pretty area, set at the southern edge of the largest lake located within the boundaries of the state.
All Children Are Born Innocent
No Pride in Prejudice
by Steven Underwood at Quora
Hi C.J.,
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt and thoughtful reflection. Your memories of that small Ohio town really paint a picture of a simpler, more innocent time — a time when the biggest worries were rowdies rather than the heavier social divisions and dangers kids face today.
It’s powerful how you point out that children are born innocent, and that prejudice is something learned, often from the environment around them. That makes me wonder: what do you think are some practical ways we, as a community or as individuals, can help raise children today in a way that preserves their innocence and teaches them to embrace differences instead of fearing or judging them?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Wow, that’s a profound review, Steven, and I truly appreciate your warm thoughts. Rarely have I received a more positive, well-expressed and well-written comment from a reader. Thank you most sincerely.
As to your request for my thoughts on practical ways of raising children that preserves their innocence and teaches them to embrace differences instead of fearing or judging them …
In a truly enlightened society, it would be an easy proposition to raise children in an accepting environment, and tolerant of differences. That being said, we are living in a time unlike any in our country’s history. There are so many factors to consider.
To do that today, several levels would have to be modified for an ideal environment in which to raise children. If that could be done, would it even be possible to preserve their innocence and teach them to embrace differences?
It has to start somewhere. Mom and Dad could raise exceptionally well adjusted children who see everyone as equals, taught to embrace the differences, not fear or judge them. Then children go to school ….
It would have to begin at the very top:
We have a President who is heavily prejudiced and speaks publicly about it.
A heavily armed militia (paramilitary groups), members, and their families
When at war, (WW 1 & 2) citizens were urged to hate the “Japs and Germans”
Teachers, schools. Books
Computers and the Internet
Parents, grandparents, other family members
So many uncontrolled variables make it nearly impossible to cause the change we would like to see happen in our society today.
Thank you Paul Wittenberger and Harley King for restacking this post.
You're so right, C.J. Parenting (even grandparenting) is a nightmares, and I have plenty of those where my grands are in peril. Everything from alligators to men in white vans. So, we have helicopter parents who hover over every activity their kids have. What's really weird, though, are the kids who submerged themselves in computer games and social media. Oh yes, they're safe from the predators on the streets, but what lurks behind the screens is even more insidious.
One of my favorite books is Ray Bradbury's Dandelion Wine. In that beautiful book of summer in 1920s Midwestern America is one really scary thing: the gully and the horrible man who lurks there. Bradbury writes other stories of childhood horrors, too, all within that same era of supposed prosperity and safety for children. Alas, the boogeyman lives forever. As children, we just weren't aware of it.