Can Trust Be Rebuilt, Once Broken?
Trust is a Vital Part of Love
Trust is one of the most vital parts of a loving relationship. Once trust has been broken, I don’t believe it can ever be rebuilt and be as strong as it once was.
Of course, I’ll admit I’m biased. I had a husband who thought I was too rigid because I wouldn’t forgive his infidelities and … “Just get over it”. I suppose it comes down to how the trust was broken and the two people in the relationship. I know for me, there was always a shadow of distrust hovering above me.
The way I envision trust is like a spider’s thread.
A spider spins a thread. Alone, it’s weightless and delicate but very strong. It’s also flexible and it will stretch and bend. When joined with other threads in a web, it’s still fragile, but it’s strong enough to capture heavy insects and hold them, even in the highest wind.
Now, let’s imagine one spider thread is a strand of trust. If we were to attach one end of a strand of trust to one partner, stretch it gently and attach the other end to the other partner. Trust then joins them together in a strong bond that stretches and bends while allowing each partner the freedom to be who they are. It’s based on mutual respect and love and the trust is still very fragile.
As the relationship grows strong, the bond of trust will also gain strength. Like the spider’s web, the trust will be strong enough to stretch and bend and withstand any storm. It’s up to each partner to stay worthy of the trust and not break the bond.
As to whether trust can be repaired or rebuilt if it’s broken … that would be up to the partner who was hurt by the broken trust. A spider can easily spin a new web, but for most, trust is almost impossible to repair, once it’s broken. There will always be a shadow of distrust left behind.
As for me, break my trust once, shame on you. Break it again? I’m sorry, but you don’t live here anymore …
Published Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018
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I am with you C.J. We give our trust in good faith, it really isn’t earned as the saying goes, perhaps it is earned as a result of betrayal? I think therefore, a break in trust speaks on many levels, and for obvious reasons, intimate relationships… another level … etc. glad you didn’t put up with it . 😊💪💜
Hi C.J. Can we trust to much probably ,Do way to many forgive to fast yes . Trust me I have been through what you went through a few times . The first time I forgave which was my first serious love . Did she ever cheat again have no idea but most likely . Second one I blame my self , I was a drunk at the time as well as a musician . One night on my gfs birthday , my gf asked if she could go out . I said ok I will get the band over and we can practice . During this time the whole band couldn't show so some of us drank some got high some did both . A female cousin of out guitarist showed up at the house , I had talked to her many times but wasn't attracted to her . She told me my gf was in a park , had been drugged , was drinking heavy , and fooling around with all the guys . Me and my other guitarist went to the park got in a fight with some there , told gf stop by tomorrow get your crap out of apartment . When my guitar player and I got back to Apartment , Denise the other guitarists cousin was still there . Needless to say I was way more drunk by than and yes I went to bed with her . The next day i found out it was Denise that set up the party and gave gf the drugs . I called Denise told her to leave me alone . that lasted about a month until she called and said I need to talk to you , I said ok I will be home for about half an hour . She got to my apartment and handed me a note saying . she was with child and knew it was mine . Did I believe this no , yet said once they can test blood of both and baby let me know .Another month passed and she stopped over , she said come on get in car for the test .I said OK once I could think straight . she was with my child , And told me if i wanted to ever see them I had to marry her . She knew I was adopted and only child so this sat wrong way . stopped drinking drugs and married , because I knew the kind of mom he would be . After 19 years of unloving marriage filled with her sleeping with just about everyone i knew ,I told he kids are old enough now so all can move out . So know years later with very bad health . Do i know i will never find true love yes i do . Was most of this my fault 50 percent . Do i love my kids with all my heart . My advice to all maybe trust once after that forget it . Sorry for such a long response . hugs to all