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Candace George Conradi's avatar

Nothing good.

We have to feel our grief so we can see clearly our path forward. For those who are grieving, know you are not alone. Change takes time, and there will be a fallout from this election, just like there was a fallout for those who voted for our current elected president when Joe Biden was moved into the White House.

No doubt, this is the worst hangover I’ve ever had. But I often think about the citizens of Germany at the end of World War II and how they felt after knowing what had happened to millions of their citizens.

I would much rather have this hangover than that one. Just know you’re not alone. There are many of us deeply concerned and grieving soulfully for what has happened. Sending my love to all of you. 👍❤️ Rage will not heal our grief, only time, so please be gentle with yourself.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Candace, thank you for commenting, but it’s obvious you didn’t read my post, or you would know it was written from my experience back in 1990. I’ve written this to help others understand why you don’t bury grief.

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Candace George Conradi's avatar

I apologize CJ. I will go back and read it in its entirety. I’ve just had so many of my friends reaching out and I spent the last day and a half supporting them. Thank you for posting this. The year was unclear to me. ❤️

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C.J. Heck's avatar

That’s okay, Candace, we’ve all been there and I understand. Plus there are so many that go in our mailboxes, you have to pick and choose the ones you read today vs. tomorrow. Thank you!

💞💞

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Candace George Conradi's avatar

It was also deeply insensitive. You are a very wise and courageous woman. 🙏 please accept my apology. ❤️‍🩹

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C.J. Heck's avatar

You’re very kind to say that, Candace. Thank you. No apology needed. We’re okay.

hugs

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Heidi White's avatar

Thank you for sharing so vulnerably, C.J. Wise words. 🫶🏼

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you, Heidi. I hope through my experience I can help others understand the importance of never burying feelings.

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Dave Karpowicz's avatar

CJ, Thank you for sharing your story and the lessons it brought. Hopefully it will help many readers. D

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you for your thoughtful comments, Dave. I do hope it will help others understand grief better.

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mitch's avatar

I am sorry you went through all that C J . Yet typical bury it response from so called specialists . Once you try to bury it it just gets worse ad worse inside till we explode . Your hub at time was wrong to say your nuts . It only makes it worse and we begin to believe it . Yet you did right thing divorced and met the man of your life . PTSD sucks but so does bad therapists . Hugs and love to you and family

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts, Mitch. I’m sure you understand —I have no doubt at all about that.

hugs and love

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Gary Gruber's avatar

What a lot of people do not understand is that you never get over it, you learn how to live with it.

Their well-meaning comments are seldom what you need to hear when you're struggling with grief. What helps is to know that you cannot have wrong feelings, you have feelings, some large, some small, some happy, some sad, some painful, some joyful, some angry, some peaceful. And so it goes, emotions on a continuum, a see saw, back and forth. When we finally find our center and what holds and sustains us, we're better equipped to name our feelings, to deal with them, to learn from them and move on. It's not an event, it's process. It's life as we know it. Kindness, compassion, acceptance, those will carry the day. Loving yourself and others, not always easy, but worthwhile.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Very well said, Gary. Thank you for your thoughts.

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Kathleen Hobbs's avatar

CJ you are such a strong woman

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you, Kathleen. You’re very kind to say that. I guess to be honest, I’d have to say I just refused to give up. I think that does make us stronger. Thank you again.

hugs.

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