Idealist or Realist?

It's all about a perspective on making love...

Every once in a while, a question from a group on another platform will catch my eye and I’ll feel compelled to answer it. This is one of those ..

Q) “In a love relationship, what causes a loss of interest in the bedroom? He says it’s my fault, that I’m frigid and a snow queen. I’ve tried to tell him to change how he treats me and things will be different. He is hateful, abusive, and that pushes me away.” Thanks. Merilee

A) Hello Merilee. I am so sorry and I agree with you. You shouldn’t have to live that way. I’m not a therapist. There are several qualified therapists here in the group and I feel confident they can help. This is something they’re trained for.

When I saw your question, I felt drawn to answer, because I’ve been where you are. I’m going to share what I think, based on two marriages I walked away from. There are some who will say I am an idealist, but it’s okay. That’s how I’m programmed as a woman.

I believe making love begins when you first open your eyes in the morning. When we say “Good morning”, it’s so much more than a simple morning greeting. It’s a promise and it carries with it a hope you will have a good day, too.

When one partner is doing the best they can and they have to put up with hateful abusive behavior, it’s nearly impossible, to forget the day’s negativity and want to make love later. In time, there comes a point of no return ...

We can feel loved and loving toward a partner in spite of disagreements that flare up in all relationships, as long as there is kindness, trust, and forgiveness.

To mutually feel loved and respected should be at the core of every relationship. As a result, at the end of the day, the bedroom will never be a ‘dead’ zone and “Good Morning” will still be a promise and a hope for a good day ...

CJ’s World is reader supported.
If you enjoy my writing, please
consider a paid subscription,
so I can continue writing.
Thank you.