This question shows how comparmentalized men can be in their thinking and women are more integrated. If reincarnation is a thing, my only prayer is, please don't let me born a man. I wouldn't want to live in that kind of a mindset.
Oh Carol, you are so right! I think women are more in touch with feelings, too, and that makes a huge difference. I hope we have a choice when it comes time for our next incarnation. I love men and I respect them —they have a tough road, but I would not want to be one.
I’m sorry, Wen, I didn’t mean to leave the impression I was talking about ways of making love. I was explaining to Merilee that most people have to be able to keep the loving feelings alive during the day to have the loving feelings later in the bedroom.
Her spouse faults her when because of his cruel behavior, he’s the reason she has no desire to be loving toward him later —to be honest, she doesn’t even want to be in the same house with him later.
She needs to leave him … I feel sorry for her —he’ll never change.
We lived on the North Side of Chicago--right smack in the middle of the "swingin' singles scene." It's the only part of the city (I think) that hasn't gained great strides of improvement. We had a condo there. Dave was a loan officer, mostly for airlines. Did you say your last name was O'Brien at the time? What was your husband's first name? Who knows, maybe they knew each other or at least familiar with the name.
Frederick Martin O’Brien. He was also a Loan Officer. He worked mostly with large corporations. I’ve been trying to think of the man he used to work for, but it’s gone. Too many years ago now.
Dave might remember Fred’s thick Boston Accent. Undergrad was Boston College, got his masters at Notre Dame. First Chicago was his first job out of grad school.
I’ll call Fred tomorrow and ask him if he remembers Dave Cotton.
Cordial. We had 3 daughters together. We agreed on joint custody, 3 graduations, 3 weddings, 11 grandchildren, 11 christenings, I kept the relationship cordial to be supportive for our girls.
What years did you live in Elmhurst? I've heard of it but never went there. It must not be too far from Chi. I was no big fan of green beer, and I think in 20 years living there, I only saw the green river once! People who live in the Chicago 'hoods are in their own little worlds and can literally go years without ever going into "town".
We were in Elmhurst from 74 to 80. Elmhurst is a Chicago suburb about 18 miles west of the city. My husband worked at First Chicago and rode the commuter train to and from work.
Our family spent six years in Elmhurst where 2 of my daughters were born. My married name at the time was O’Brien. We used to go with friends to a bar downtown where they celebrate with bagpipers, pints o’ green beer, Irish coffee, and the Chicago River is dyed green!
Happy St. Paddy’s Day - it’s the day everyone is Irish!
I remember reading about how beautiful and magical, loving and tender, your courtship and short-lived first marriage was. So, it must have been a kind of marital culture shock when the second time around it was like a 180 turnabout. A fine woman like you deserved so much more than such shoddy treatment. I'm glad you had the inner strength to free yourself and now have the happiness you so richly deserve. Please give Robert a peck on the cheek from me! ~cc
Thank you for the warm and wonderful memories, Carol. It’s good for me to revisit from time to time and I was happy this time it was with YOU. Thank you, too, for your kind words —kind words from a kind soul.
I will give Robert a peck on the cheek from you. He really is a sweetheart.
I suppose if I HAD to be reborn as a man and I could choose, I would want to be a monk. Not a phony one who hides porn under his mattress...but a real one who is not led around by his penis. ;-)))
Carol, you’re hilarious! Would you also live happily somewhere in the Andes as a guru? You could rebuild Machu Pichu!
I think I’ll choose to be reborn as a woman again to love and be loved by a good man who treats me with respect and kindness … (I’ll be perfectly happy being led around by his penis) 🤣😂😁🤣😂😁
(OMG, did CJ really say that? Has she no shame at all?)
Oh, I've read your erotic poetry, so I'm not surprised at all. It's a lucky guy and his wife-lover who've been blessed with the Goldilocks amount of testosterone. Too many men overproduce (through no fault of their own). I think it effects so much of their entire physical/mental/psychological and not just sexual identity. For a woman with a "normal" amount of estrogen, it's overwhelming and not entirely pleasant, as was alluded to in that question you answered. How many women could/would have the male attitude of: So I got a little verbally abusive earlier--what's that got to do with THIS? Ugh. ;-)))) I do have a sense of humor about it, though. But I won't be laughing if I'm reborn as a horny dude.
Ohhhhh I hate that attitude of, “Whaddaya mean? So what if I called you some names and pushed ya? Ya gotta let stuff like that roll off your back. Don’t take it so personal —-you some kind of Pollyanna, or what?”
What/Who creates a person like that? It was personal to me and eventually why I divorced him.
100% agree. Lovemaking is as much about connection and respect as it is about the act of intercourse. Correction. It's MORE about connection and respect than sexual intercourse.
It used to be that you could blame it on the culture but I’m thinking we have evolved a bit in the last 50 years. Men should be aware that they need to tune into the emotional / relational world. Frankly, I would have zero interest in a man who couldn’t access at least a good portion of that world. 🤷🏻♀️
This question shows how comparmentalized men can be in their thinking and women are more integrated. If reincarnation is a thing, my only prayer is, please don't let me born a man. I wouldn't want to live in that kind of a mindset.
Oh Carol, you are so right! I think women are more in touch with feelings, too, and that makes a huge difference. I hope we have a choice when it comes time for our next incarnation. I love men and I respect them —they have a tough road, but I would not want to be one.
Catherine, I wish I were in a loving relationship like you who can try out ways of ‘making love’🩷
I’m sorry, Wen, I didn’t mean to leave the impression I was talking about ways of making love. I was explaining to Merilee that most people have to be able to keep the loving feelings alive during the day to have the loving feelings later in the bedroom.
Her spouse faults her when because of his cruel behavior, he’s the reason she has no desire to be loving toward him later —to be honest, she doesn’t even want to be in the same house with him later.
She needs to leave him … I feel sorry for her —he’ll never change.
No it’s good…I just hope I have a relationship to fight for;)
When you have given up and forgotten about it, love will find you, Wen. You’ll see. When you’re ready, love will come to you.
We lived on the North Side of Chicago--right smack in the middle of the "swingin' singles scene." It's the only part of the city (I think) that hasn't gained great strides of improvement. We had a condo there. Dave was a loan officer, mostly for airlines. Did you say your last name was O'Brien at the time? What was your husband's first name? Who knows, maybe they knew each other or at least familiar with the name.
Frederick Martin O’Brien. He was also a Loan Officer. He worked mostly with large corporations. I’ve been trying to think of the man he used to work for, but it’s gone. Too many years ago now.
Dave might remember Fred’s thick Boston Accent. Undergrad was Boston College, got his masters at Notre Dame. First Chicago was his first job out of grad school.
I’ll call Fred tomorrow and ask him if he remembers Dave Cotton.
So you've retained a more or less amicable relationship with him over the years?
Cordial. We had 3 daughters together. We agreed on joint custody, 3 graduations, 3 weddings, 11 grandchildren, 11 christenings, I kept the relationship cordial to be supportive for our girls.
OMG, CJ, Dave worked their, too and during the exact same period!
Dave worked at First Chicago??? I’ll bet they knew each other!! Where were you living at the time? What town?
What years did you live in Elmhurst? I've heard of it but never went there. It must not be too far from Chi. I was no big fan of green beer, and I think in 20 years living there, I only saw the green river once! People who live in the Chicago 'hoods are in their own little worlds and can literally go years without ever going into "town".
We were in Elmhurst from 74 to 80. Elmhurst is a Chicago suburb about 18 miles west of the city. My husband worked at First Chicago and rode the commuter train to and from work.
As we say in Chicago, "Happy St. Paddy's and Erin go Bragh!
Our family spent six years in Elmhurst where 2 of my daughters were born. My married name at the time was O’Brien. We used to go with friends to a bar downtown where they celebrate with bagpipers, pints o’ green beer, Irish coffee, and the Chicago River is dyed green!
Happy St. Paddy’s Day - it’s the day everyone is Irish!
🍀🌈
I remember reading about how beautiful and magical, loving and tender, your courtship and short-lived first marriage was. So, it must have been a kind of marital culture shock when the second time around it was like a 180 turnabout. A fine woman like you deserved so much more than such shoddy treatment. I'm glad you had the inner strength to free yourself and now have the happiness you so richly deserve. Please give Robert a peck on the cheek from me! ~cc
Thank you for the warm and wonderful memories, Carol. It’s good for me to revisit from time to time and I was happy this time it was with YOU. Thank you, too, for your kind words —kind words from a kind soul.
I will give Robert a peck on the cheek from you. He really is a sweetheart.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day, my dear friend.
😊🍀🍀🍀😊😁
I suppose if I HAD to be reborn as a man and I could choose, I would want to be a monk. Not a phony one who hides porn under his mattress...but a real one who is not led around by his penis. ;-)))
Carol, you’re hilarious! Would you also live happily somewhere in the Andes as a guru? You could rebuild Machu Pichu!
I think I’ll choose to be reborn as a woman again to love and be loved by a good man who treats me with respect and kindness … (I’ll be perfectly happy being led around by his penis) 🤣😂😁🤣😂😁
(OMG, did CJ really say that? Has she no shame at all?)
Oh, I've read your erotic poetry, so I'm not surprised at all. It's a lucky guy and his wife-lover who've been blessed with the Goldilocks amount of testosterone. Too many men overproduce (through no fault of their own). I think it effects so much of their entire physical/mental/psychological and not just sexual identity. For a woman with a "normal" amount of estrogen, it's overwhelming and not entirely pleasant, as was alluded to in that question you answered. How many women could/would have the male attitude of: So I got a little verbally abusive earlier--what's that got to do with THIS? Ugh. ;-)))) I do have a sense of humor about it, though. But I won't be laughing if I'm reborn as a horny dude.
Ohhhhh I hate that attitude of, “Whaddaya mean? So what if I called you some names and pushed ya? Ya gotta let stuff like that roll off your back. Don’t take it so personal —-you some kind of Pollyanna, or what?”
What/Who creates a person like that? It was personal to me and eventually why I divorced him.
Thank you for your thoughts, Carol.
100% agree. Lovemaking is as much about connection and respect as it is about the act of intercourse. Correction. It's MORE about connection and respect than sexual intercourse.
So true, Graciewilde! What is it that a lot of men just don’t get? Women pick it up right away.
It used to be that you could blame it on the culture but I’m thinking we have evolved a bit in the last 50 years. Men should be aware that they need to tune into the emotional / relational world. Frankly, I would have zero interest in a man who couldn’t access at least a good portion of that world. 🤷🏻♀️
Yes, I also believe they need to be more emotional with the exception of anger. I’ll take a man who has half the anger.