22 Comments
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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you, Jo-Ann Petrarca and Harley King for the restack. It means a lot to me.

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Jo-Ann Petrarca's avatar

This hits home and sours my stomach. I feel that verbal abuse has to be the worse. I’m so thankful to know my worth and to walk away from such a time in my life that seemed hopeless. Thank you CJ!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

You're welcome. I'm so sorry you also lived through it, Jo-Ann. It's insidious and I'm glad you got out.

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Jo-Ann Petrarca's avatar

I’m over it but thank you. I guess we have a few things in common. 🤗

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Yes, we do —soul sisters?

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Dave Karpowicz's avatar

CJ, My heart goes out to all who felt less than. Thank you for sharing the label exercise. D

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C.J. Heck's avatar

If the label exercise helps even one survivor, then it was worth writing about. Thank you, Dave!

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Diana van Eyk's avatar

Thanks for this great exercise!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Hello Diana. Thank you for your kind comments. I’m glad you saw some value in the therapist’s helpful exercise.

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Andrew Devlin's avatar

Thank God that you found a wise therapist! There are so many charlatans out there who think the only way to get over anything is another prescription.

Have a great and blessed day, C. J. !

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Hello Andrew. Thank you for your comment and thoughts. You’re right. He was a great therapist —I was fortunate. He was referred to me by the VA years before when my first husband was KIA in Vietnam. He was a big help to me then and a natural to call when I needed help again.

Thank you again, Andrew.

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Andrew Devlin's avatar

You are very welcome, C. J. !

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C.J. Heck's avatar

❤️💕

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Kathleen Hobbs's avatar

As a child, it was emotional abuse. As an adult, it was physical. Both hurt.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Oh Kathleen, I’m so sorry! My heart aches for the little girl still inside you and I pray that you got out of the abusive relationship. Yes, any kind of abuse is painful and so wrong.

hugs

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Alicia Joyful's avatar

The exercise at the end is a great one. Thank you for sharing your heart and experience.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you for your kind words, Alicia. I’m glad to share anything I have learned if it might help even one other person in the same situation.

Thanks again! ❤️💕

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Sue Cauhape's avatar

I don't really want to display the litany of slurs Mom threw at me often, but one that has been "following me around the house" lately was "earn your keep." I tell myself, that's the statement of a parent who was a child during the Depression. That makes it a tad easier to kick it back out the door, but is was indicative of the extreme burden children were to people who couldn't affoard to feed them.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

It sounds like you had your own private hell, Sue, and I’m so sorry. It seems there are a lot of people here who heard things while growing up that children shouldn’t have to hear.

Thank you for sharing your story.

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Sue Cauhape's avatar

Thank you, C.J. I'll stop now. Time to rebury the past.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you, Robert Cosmar, for restacking this post! 💋💋💋

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Heidi White's avatar

This lands hard. The names that were flung wildly are now solely hurled incessantly at the one who chose to stay. Idiot is the word of choice and each time I hear that word I have a physical reaction. It is forbidden in my household in any context. Verbal abuse cuts deep. I like your therapist’s exercise. In my opinion, cutting the labels is not enough. They must be burned.

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