Should We Let Toddlers Choose?

Will it Encourage Independent Thinking?

Should toddlers be allowed to choose what they wear?

Yes, within reason, I think they should …

Children as young as toddlers want to start making decisions about things that concern them —what they want to wear is one.

When I was growing up, my little brother (eight years my junior), begged for a pair of cowboy boots. He finally got a pair for his 4th birthday. He adored them. The only time he took them off was for bathing and sleeping.

Everywhere our family went, the familiar clop.clop.clop of his cowboy boots followed us. No one could persuade him to wear shoes. He finally outgrew the boots, along with his need to wear them.

My daughters each reached an age where they wanted to choose what to wear, usually around three. They were insistent and they stood their ground.

“No-o-o-o, NO wear DAT! Wear DIS! Me DO it.”

It was such a small thing to fight about and I decided I wasn’t going to. I would allow my girls the freedom to choose what to wear. I remembered my little brother’s cowboy boots and how important those boots were to him. They made him so happy!

My oldest daughter was satisfied with being allowed to choose what to wear. She let me help her get dressed and everyone was happy.

My middle daughter at three chose what she wanted to wear, and insisted on dressing herself. She was nearly five before her pants faced the front, her shirt tags were on the inside and her shoes were on the correct feet. It just wasn’t worth fighting about and doing it herself brought her such a feeling of pride and accomplishment.

It was easier to allow her to do it her way than to lock horns with her every morning. I would be battling her growing independence and I didn’t think it was fair to her. As my Mama used to say, “Honey, pick your battles carefully. They’re not all worth fighting.”

I wanted to raise confident, independent children, who would someday be capable of good decision-making and able to competently live on their own. I was not going to break their spirit … or leave an opening to one day become someone’s doormat, or slave.

My third daughter was an altogether different sort of child at three. She was my Punky Brewster, a TV character who dressed wildly. My daughter loved pairing plaids and stripes, long pants with a dress, and two different knee socks with shorts or a skirt. You can imagine how that looked in church, the dentist’s office, or the grocery store.

We got a lot of smiles and on the rare occasion we got a critical look, I shrugged my shoulders, smiled, and said, “Kids. You gotta love ‘em”. I knew it was only a phase and they would outgrow it on their own.

I’m happy to report my girls are all intelligent, independent women with a healthy dose of self confidence, and wonderful decision-making skills all thrown into the mix —-not to mention they are kind, loving, and compassionate.

I was also thrilled when they went through the same clothing and dressing issues with their children. Hey, like the saying goes: what goes around comes around … (wink)….

It’s such a small price to pay. Let them choose what to wear. They’re children for such a short time. Love them and enjoy their childhood while it lasts —they are so worth it.

Published Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018
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