My mother dictated my dress code, then she did it with my son.
Through clothes we try to find an identity, to dictate is to condition. I have never worn skirts or dresses since being of an age to choose,as I have been scared, and my son clung to his choice of fashion right into his twenties. To be fair though he wasn't given time to change. Her choice of clothes were dreadful for me even though she was very stylish.
I've heard it said that we can't choose our families. I'm sorry clothing was such a big deal for your mother. I feel you should have been able to choose your own. Your son, too. Did you hold a grudge towards her?
You were (are) very wise, C.J. I have a vivid memory of something so bizarre that took place between my aunt and her 5-yr-old daughter who didn't want to wear a particular dress one Sunday. They went " round-and-round" screaming, "NO!" "YES!" until my aunt finally said, "Okay, take the damn thing off and wear whatever the hell you want." to which my little cousin said, "NO! I want to wear it!" My aunt shouted back, "TAKE the Damn thing off!" Back and forth until, before my astonished eyes, my aunt took her large, mannish hands and ripped the dress right off her daughter's little body.
When my son was a child (I can't seem to remember his age but he was old enough to dress himself!), we were getting ready for church and I told him he could dress himself! I left him upstairs with his clothes on the bed. I think I went to church without him!
Did he dress himself a little strangely, or did you really forget him?
When mine were toddlers, I was used to people staring and I got pretty thick-skinned! I decided childhood is so short. What clothes they wore on their back just wasn't worth crying or arguing about. It seemed like in the time it took me to blink, they were in high school already ... how I miss those days.
I really can't remember what happened next but I think I went to church by myself more often! I got tired of fighting with him! But I do remember one time he was dressed and waiting for his ride to Sunday School and the ride didn't come! And he really wanted to go that Sunday! I was in my old clothes, getting ready to paint the kitchen but he insisted he wanted to go, so I walked with him about 5 or 6 blocks and I was invited to stay. We went back the following Sunday! But I did wear my Sunday clothes at that time!
He loved Sunday School until he stopped going! So, I went alone for a few years until I finally, stopped! I can't even remember the last time I went to church or Sunday School!
My mother dictated my dress code, then she did it with my son.
Through clothes we try to find an identity, to dictate is to condition. I have never worn skirts or dresses since being of an age to choose,as I have been scared, and my son clung to his choice of fashion right into his twenties. To be fair though he wasn't given time to change. Her choice of clothes were dreadful for me even though she was very stylish.
I've heard it said that we can't choose our families. I'm sorry clothing was such a big deal for your mother. I feel you should have been able to choose your own. Your son, too. Did you hold a grudge towards her?
Only when younger, she ruined every outing.
But later we find mum was also heavily conditioned.
You were (are) very wise, C.J. I have a vivid memory of something so bizarre that took place between my aunt and her 5-yr-old daughter who didn't want to wear a particular dress one Sunday. They went " round-and-round" screaming, "NO!" "YES!" until my aunt finally said, "Okay, take the damn thing off and wear whatever the hell you want." to which my little cousin said, "NO! I want to wear it!" My aunt shouted back, "TAKE the Damn thing off!" Back and forth until, before my astonished eyes, my aunt took her large, mannish hands and ripped the dress right off her daughter's little body.
When my son was a child (I can't seem to remember his age but he was old enough to dress himself!), we were getting ready for church and I told him he could dress himself! I left him upstairs with his clothes on the bed. I think I went to church without him!
Did he dress himself a little strangely, or did you really forget him?
When mine were toddlers, I was used to people staring and I got pretty thick-skinned! I decided childhood is so short. What clothes they wore on their back just wasn't worth crying or arguing about. It seemed like in the time it took me to blink, they were in high school already ... how I miss those days.
Thank you, Connie! ❤️❤️❤️
I really can't remember what happened next but I think I went to church by myself more often! I got tired of fighting with him! But I do remember one time he was dressed and waiting for his ride to Sunday School and the ride didn't come! And he really wanted to go that Sunday! I was in my old clothes, getting ready to paint the kitchen but he insisted he wanted to go, so I walked with him about 5 or 6 blocks and I was invited to stay. We went back the following Sunday! But I did wear my Sunday clothes at that time!
Ah yes, the best laid plans often go awry. At least he didn't mind golng to Sunday School, right?
He loved Sunday School until he stopped going! So, I went alone for a few years until I finally, stopped! I can't even remember the last time I went to church or Sunday School!
The same here, Connie. We haven't gone to a church in years. We have our own way of connecting with God and the Universe and it works for us. ❤️❤️