I saw this question posted in a Quora Space: did the Vietnam War affect your family in any way? The Vietnam War affected my family in many ways. Mainly, it left a huge void where our loved one used to be. In this void there is a large scar.
The biggest travesty of war is that it brings tremendous loss to both sides that few can understand, unless they’ve been there and they’ve lived through its horrors.
What’s not affected is the love that those who were left behind, waiting, still carry for them. I know it’s followed me through my life —in ways I can see and understand and in ways that will never be known to me.
The Vietnam War was very different from other wars. The lines of reason became blurred and it left behind more questions than answers:
Why did our loved one become a statistic in someone else’s war?
Was there anything good that came from it?
For all we lost, was there a winner?
Did the war make the world a better place?
Did we get into the war because they were a threat to the United States?
The only answers we have from our side are thousands of names etched on a black granite wall … and just as many are photos of young men who will never age. They proudly guard our wishes and love, unfulfilled dreams and all the dashed promises are tucked in between the pages of tear-stained photo albums in homes across the country.
“… gone to graveyards, every one. When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?” —-Pete Seeger
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I was in Washington, DC when the Wall went up. I was shocked by how hard it hit me! I started crying and had to sit down. I did volunteer work during Gulf 1 and 2. Our armies are so young! Our troops need to know we care and we’ve got to step up. Folks, please volunteer when and how you can. The USO is a great place. Consider donating or serving.
As you may recall, C.J., I was in the WAC at the same time your dear, young, beloved husband was in Vietnam. It was during the hippie era and I met a lot of "conscripts"--men, formerly hippies, who'd been drafted and were involuntarily serving time during a war they did not support nor believe in. They used to say, FTA does not stand for Fun, Travel, Adventure like the recruiters said. They said it stood for, Fuck The Army. One even told me he considered me and all WACs to be "aiders and abettors" in the deaths of thousands of American men because every desk we sat at freed up one soldier to "go to Vietnam to get his head blown off." I think I walked around shell-shocked from that remark for a week afterwards. Whenever we would ask an officer why were in Vietnam, we always got the same stock answer--the old 'Domino Effect.' If we let the "Commies" take over Vietnam then Cambodia, Thailand, etc. would be next and before you know it, they'd be in our own backyard and by then it will be too late to stop them. Then they would quote two things to us: A poem that went something like, First they came for the Jews, and I turned away because I'm not Jewish, then they came for the _____and I turned away because I'm not _____ and then they came for me... When some of the conscripts would accuse the US Government of violating the international rules of warfare according to the Geneva Convention, they would all say in unison: My Country, Right or Wrong, My Country. So, this was the party line that we were given in answer to your question: Does anyone even know why we were there? Now, your other question, Who won? Well, this is my personal observation. If you look at pictures of Vietnam before we invaded, you'll see jungles and rice paddies, and thousands of peasants living in thatched-roof huts and working those paddies. This is what the country looked like except for the cities of Hanoi and Saigon. Those cities were bustling but the "bustlers" were magistrates and potentates with their entourage of shiny black cars and their servants. If you look at footage of Vietnam now--you'll see the progeny of past peasants scooting around town on Mopeds, hustling for a buck, wearing their earpods and listening to Vietnamese hip hop or sending texts on their iphones. It seems everyone's got a side hustle or a small business of their own. The communists seem to have gone the way of the DoDo Bird and you could almost rename the place Little America. So--who won? You be the judge. Thank you, so much, C.J. for this opportunity to get a few things off that have been festering in my chest for far too long. xoxoxo, ~cc