"When God Created Mothers"

A Short Story, by Erma Bombeck

This is my all-time favorite story about Mothers. Thank you, Erma …

When God Created Mothers
by Erma Bombeck

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of ‘overtime’ when a Production Department angel appeared and said, "We’re still waiting for blueprints, Sir.  You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one, Sir."

God said, "I know, but have you read the specs on this order?"

“She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 180 moveable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; and six total pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands ... I’m sorry, Sir. There’s no way we can do that."

“It's not the hands that are causing Me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

“That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded.

“One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows; another pair, here, in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't, but what she has to; and of course, the two here in front that look at a child when he goofs up and they say, 'It’s okay. I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."

“God," said the angel touching His sleeve gently, "Go get some rest. Tomorrow is ..."

“I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something that’s close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she’s sick; can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger; and she can get a nine year old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.

“But it’s tough!" said God excitedly. "Can you imagine what this mother can do, or endure?"

“But, can it think?"

“Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise, too," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across a cheek. “Uh oh, Sir, there's a leak in it." she announced. "I told You, Sir, You’re trying to pack too much into this model."

“It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's called, a tear."

“What's it for?"

“Well, it's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

“You are a Genius, " said the angel.

Somberly, God whispered, "That’s the whole thing … I didn't put it there ...”

Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018.
CJ’s World is reader supported.
If you enjoy reading my work, please,
be a paid subscriber so I can continue 
writing.  Thank you!