Why do Some People Romanticize Pain?

Physical, Mental, or Emotional.

I don’t know anyone who would romanticize pain. There is nothing romantic about pain —of any kind, whether it’s physical, mental, or even emotional.  

I do feel the best healing often comes through writing about it —maybe that is what’s considered to be romanticizing pain.

I’ve struggled with anxiety for a long time, ever since my first husband was killed in Vietnam.  Every time I write about it in some way, I do heal a little more.

I’m sure millions of other people also have anxiety and each has their own story. They cope with it in many different ways, but this is not an open forum for everyone. This is my story.

There are days I wish anxiety would leave me in peace. There are nights when it screams and I can’t do anything but wait it out. But that doesn’t make me crazy, or imperfect, because I won’t let anxiety define me as a woman.

There are times when I am grateful for it. I’m not saying anxiety feels good —it doesn’t and never will. It’s painful and it’s scary and it lies to me all the time, but it does make me aware I am human, aware that everyone is flawed with parts of themselves they dislike, or even wish they could change, but they still deserve acceptance and even more, to love and be loved.

So for others who suffer from it, I wish I could make it go away so you’ll feel better. But as it plagues us, it also makes us better. We’re stronger, braver, more caring, more sensitive, more understanding, even someone who listens more closely, because we care.

I think it made me feel life more deeply when I fell in love —and, when I fell out of love.

I’ve found love again and I will not let my anxiety ruin that. I’ll let it be. I will nurture myself while I nurture my significant other. I will not judge what he feels are his imperfections. I want him to feel loved regardless of how he thinks of himself.

I will love him wholeheartedly, just as he loves me, accepts my anxiety, and is pleasantly aware of everything else that makes me, me.

I am not romanticizing pain when I write about my anxiety. I am explaining, but only to show there is a difference. But it’s so much more than that … I am healing.

Poet/Writer/Author of 5 books.
Quora Top Writer 2018.
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