Most people find it almost impossible to "forgive" because they think it means all those things you mentioned. I know that I did and truthfully, still do. The closest I've been able to come is to "Just Let it Go." The word I have used in the past (thankfully no longer a need for it) is "Release"--I release from my mind all the pain of abuse and tortured memories that I'd been sheltering there. I tell myself, It's all over now, it's been over--now it's time to stop torturing myself with the memory of the pain and release it.
We're all different. I would never fault you for how you feel about forgiving someone, my friend. I realize some cannot and that's fine. My abusers don't know --haven't a clue --that I forgave them so I can go forward and heal. It's like my little secret. 🤍
When you come down to it, it's really just semantics--we use different words, but I don't see much difference in the meaning in this context. I DO like the idea of having your own little secret, though. I actually have quite of few of those, myself--little dialogues I have with myself at a party, e.g., where it would serve no good purpose to announce that I find a particular individual obnoxious so I keep it between me, myself, and I, and we all have great fun about it.
You and I are very much alike! I do that, too. (naughty-naughty girls) There's always one person at any gathering that's obnoxious --did you ever notice? Yup. Always.
Most people find it almost impossible to "forgive" because they think it means all those things you mentioned. I know that I did and truthfully, still do. The closest I've been able to come is to "Just Let it Go." The word I have used in the past (thankfully no longer a need for it) is "Release"--I release from my mind all the pain of abuse and tortured memories that I'd been sheltering there. I tell myself, It's all over now, it's been over--now it's time to stop torturing myself with the memory of the pain and release it.
We're all different. I would never fault you for how you feel about forgiving someone, my friend. I realize some cannot and that's fine. My abusers don't know --haven't a clue --that I forgave them so I can go forward and heal. It's like my little secret. 🤍
When you come down to it, it's really just semantics--we use different words, but I don't see much difference in the meaning in this context. I DO like the idea of having your own little secret, though. I actually have quite of few of those, myself--little dialogues I have with myself at a party, e.g., where it would serve no good purpose to announce that I find a particular individual obnoxious so I keep it between me, myself, and I, and we all have great fun about it.
You and I are very much alike! I do that, too. (naughty-naughty girls) There's always one person at any gathering that's obnoxious --did you ever notice? Yup. Always.
There was a time, many, many moons ago, when I was that "one"--not always, just whenever I spent to much time getting martini refills. ;-))