59 Comments
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Cori Bren's avatar

Love this it’s spot on and I’m only 60!🤪🤭✌️

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you, Cori. I’m so happy the post touched you. Those things started to pester me when I hit 55, so you’re lucky!

Thank you for the restack!

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Cori Bren's avatar

Oh I’ve experienced most of it already. 🤭

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Oh Dear, my sympathies and condolences, Cori … (wink)

Welcome to the Golden Years Club, where it doesn’t matter what new adventures we take, or the fun things we still love doing … our inner child is laughing, because we are on double-duty …

We’re navigating a mine field of the oddities of aging all at the same time …

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Avery Burns's avatar

You never met an old sissy.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

No. Have you?

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Simone Senisin's avatar

Hilarious C.J … just thinking … there could be something in us working through each of your points to jolly us all along 🤣 … a community collaboration of sorts …. Or burps …. Or farts 🤣❤️

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C.J. Heck's avatar

(laughing wildly) A collaboration of burps and farts? That’s rich, Simone!! I love it!!

🤣😁😁🤣😮😮

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Simone Senisin's avatar

Good morning 🤣😊😂❤️

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Well Good Morning to you, too! 😊😊❤️❤️

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Jo-Ann Petrarca's avatar

😹 CJ, This is so hysterical, I almost peed my pants. Most of it surely holds true.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I’m so glad you could see the humor in it, Jo-Ann! That’s what I was aiming to do —make light of aging. It’s not all bad!

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Poetry for sanity's avatar

I'm 59 and I think a looong chapter on men-on-pause would be a really good idea. In case we actually do want to tell what to expect.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I would have to have a ghost writer write that chapter for me. I’m 75 and I didn’t even know I was going through menopause until I was already through it. I had absolutely no symptoms, no problems, nothing at all. It was a breeze.

I know that’s not the way it is for many women.

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Poetry for sanity's avatar

I envy you

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Oh dear, why???

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Poetry for sanity's avatar

I just mean the menopause like a breeze not even noticing. I have all kinds of trouble 🙄

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Oh, I see. I’m so sorry you have trouble. I’ve heard stories about those who have problems and I don’t envy them.

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Poetry for sanity's avatar

I’m Happy for you I Did not mean an evil envy just wish everyone could have it be Ease

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Sharon Hudson's avatar

Bingo, C.J.!! Absolutely love the way you break the news…very clever! I have attempted to clue my kids in to their future “bumps in the road”, but they didn’t believe me…at first. They found my warnings pretty hilarious. A little less so, now that they are in their middle-aged years! Great look at the so-called “golden years”!!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Sharon! Thank you! It was a fun post to write. Like you, my children are all late 40s, early 50s. They have just begun to find there’s truth to a few of the warnings and they also find them hilarious!

I’ve been thinking we should rename our “Golden” Years … how about Bronze or Silver?

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Sharon Hudson's avatar

Sometimes I would just like a “participation” ribbon. Love your writing, C.J.!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you, Sharon. I’m glad you do. 😊💕❤️😘

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Wen's avatar

This is my second time reading this. The thickened set of toe nails is a no-no! And poop or fart, you never want to gamble on that! I personally witnessed a close friend who lost the bet, even if it was only a little! haha! 😂

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C.J. Heck's avatar

OMG, how embarrassing for your friend! That’s the sort of thing I REALLY hope will pass me by! 😂🤣😁😮🙏🙏

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Dee Rambeau's avatar

Love this so much CJ. OMFG you made funny titles out of the little frustrations that I encounter every day. Come to think of it I’d better go trim those nasty nose and ear hairs again. How come they’re so much more robust and elusive? 🙄😂

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Thank you, Dee! You can probably tell I had a great time writing this post. I let my imagination out of the box and gave it wings based on the things I’ve experienced or Robert has.

With me, it was nose and upper lip hair. Ewwww, elusive little fellers and you’re right, they’re robust!! hahaha, I love that term. Thank you again.

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Jane Deegan's avatar

I already don't recognize myself. This started years ago. I think I look ok and then those bank cameras and the ones at Walmart register. Yikes!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Same here. Why do we always look worse on those mirrors and cameras? It’s a mystery.

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Xanthe Hall's avatar

Actually, it was such a relief to read that I am not alone, choking on my own spittle and jumping in fright at my reflection 🤣

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Absolutely understand, Xanthe. You are not alone!

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Carole Roseland's avatar

You forgot—I can’t see sh-t! I have reading glasses in abundance in every room of my house!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Carol, I added a #14 to my list and credited it to “Carole R.” to protect your privacy. Thank you!

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Carole Roseland's avatar

Nothing private about my reading glasses! I should own stock in the companies that make them.😊

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C.J. Heck's avatar

So I may add your last name?

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C.J. Heck's avatar

Oh my! I will have to add a #14 and thank you for it. There are so many of us that can’t see well! Thank you, Carole!! 😊😁💕❤️

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Carole Roseland's avatar

Oh sure!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

You are #14 now, first and last names! Whoo-Hoo!

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Dave Williams's avatar

I've thought about starting that book myself but at 73 I'm still somewhat in denial. I will add one more cautionary note that goes with your #10. When you feel like you have to pee you have to stop what you're doing and go right now! The days of waiting awhile are in the past. 🤣

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I know exactly what you mean, Dave! And God forbid you wait too long to pee and you have a sudden sneeze … or laugh uncontrollably —two very dangerous situations! (I found out about them quite by accident … I’ll be 76 next month).

Thank you for sharing with me. 😲😁😮😂🤣😁

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Riccardo Valle's avatar

I’m 55 years old, and luckily, I have had no surprises yet. Maybe a few signs here and there that might show up soon, but nothing more.

Maybe the strongest sign came a few days ago.

Here in Italy, the cold has just started, and for the first time, I found myself thinking that this Christmas, I do not want any gifts except a warm hoodie.

Thank you so much for the post. It lifted my spirits and gave me courage.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I’m happy to hear that, Riccardo. I hope you have no problems from the signs I wrote about. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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Riccardo Valle's avatar

I hope so too. But something will definitely come. Thank you so much, my friend.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

You’re welcome

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Wen's avatar

You are so kind!!!! Thank you! We have been forewarned! I’m forever grateful! I love Arthur Itis, the guest! Haha!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I’m so happy you enjoyed the post, Wen! Thank you for letting me know.

hugs 😁😁❤️

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Kathleen Hobbs's avatar

I can definitely relate to most of those. My dad always used to say growing old isn’t for sissies and I would reply sure beats the alternative. But now I truly know what he meant.

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C.J. Heck's avatar

(laughing) Isn’t it odd how we seem to be regressing to old toddlers in some ways? (laughing some more).

Thank you, Kathleen!

hugs

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Kathleen Hobbs's avatar

Yep, so true.

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Trudi Nicola's avatar

Haha this made me laugh so much! I’m 52 and already choking on my own spittle at times. Always been clumsy though. The term hoo- ha!!! They will stay with me forever 🤣🤣thanks C.J. For a morning giggle!

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C.J. Heck's avatar

I’m so glad you got a morning giggle from it, Trudi! Thank you for being so supportive and for your friendship!

hugs

😁😁💕❤️

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